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Curroupt a Wish

Granted. You're now just excessively tired.


I wish metal music was what it was in the 80's.
 
granted, but the giant lizard comes back to life and moves in with you and demands shortbread cookies that must cook in a apron and torn socks.


I wish I didn't have so much time on my hands.

Rob
 
Granted. Your hard drive is now filled with lots of cookies for you to try and eat.



I wish I could come up with better answers.
 
granted, but the answers you seek are in an empty fortune cookie


I wish for some gatorade
 
Granted. It's replaced by the neighbor's cat howling.



I wish I could keep up.
 
Granted, your truckload of Viagra is on the way.

I wish I could stop watching QVC

Rob
 
Granted. You're now addicted to watching the "Animal Porn" channel.



I wish I were independently wealthy so I didn't have to work anymore.
 
Granted, but your now stuck in a plastic bubble with no possibility of ever getting out, and a giant lizard is in there with you as your wife.

I wish I could sing.

Rob

(This was for slacker, but Im doing a new one for the one posted above me)
 
Granted, but the giant lizard slaps you every time you do.


I wish the giant lizard would stop being such a dick.

(already got you covered, Rob)
 
Granted but now you have narcolepsy.

I wish I could sing.

Rob
 
Granted. And so have evey other person in your state at the same time.


I wish I could type faster.
 
Granted, but you now have carpal tunnel syndrome worse than anyone in the history of humanity.

I wish I had more Blue-Ray disc movies.

Rob
 
Granted, the giant lizard makes you do it NOW.


I wish all the TMF friends were not seperated by long distances.
 
Granted, but then you discover it's me, the world's worst.


I wish I had Steelers season tickets.
 
Granted but you have to take the Giant Lizard with you to every game.

I wish something was good on TV right now.

Rob
 
Granted, but it's on a Japanese station and you can't understand it.


I wish I wasn't tired right now.
 
Granted, but now your body is full of no-doze and you'll likely have a heart attack.

I wish I could speak Japanese.

Rob
 
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