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Curroupt a Wish

Granted, the payment is in Monopoly Money.




I wish that we could receive mail tomorrow.
 
Granted, you will now receive 500 Pottery Barn catalogues.

I wish that I had eaten less for dinner.
 
Granted men come in and stick a vacuum in your throat and remove all the food you just ate... along with your stomach and some of your intesine


I wish The eagles would have won today
 
They could have won...but at next Sunday's game they would be eaten alive by zombies.

I wish I never had to practice. 🙁
 
Granted, but now you will perpetually suck at saxophone.

I wish I could attend the inauguration in D.C. on Tuesday.
 
granted but when you are there homeland security sees you as a threat and you are liquidated before you can see it.


I wish I would think more when I speak and not say stuff that makes me look creepy.
 
Granted....but you'll lose all your whitty comments and only take things literally.

I wish I could live in a fairy tale for one day.
 
Granted. Pity, though. You'll be living in the creepy fairy tales with bad endings.

I wish it were warm enough to go biking.
 
Granted it is warm enough to go biking... but as soon as you get 100 yards from your house the temp drops 100 degrees and you freeze to death



I wish for you to be happy
 
Congraulations! It's now so hot that your bike has melted.

I wish I had a nice, big Panzoratti right now.

Snail Shell
 
Granted, but the weather turns so bad and is moved inside where you can't see it.




I wish that the Eagles would have won.
 
Granted, but they lose 83-0 in the Superbowl. And every fan in the stadium gets their respective ass kicked while watching the game.

I wish the NYC munch was tomorrow!
 
Granted, but you're called out of town for a teaching emergency and can't attend.


I wish the price of food would drop to more inexpensive prices.
 
granted it drops by .001 cents


I wish I could play the violin
 
Granted. One "Clam and Hershey's" pie comin' up!



I wish football season wasn't about to end.
 
Granted, the SuperBowl (tm) will be have so many TV timeouts it will last for the next three months.




I wish I could fly.
 
Granted, it hangs around thirty feet above ground.

I wish my apartment was already clean.
 
Granted. Then wild gypsies kick in your door and mess it up again.



I wish I was better at video games.
 
Granted, we will get a kid to tutor you, and he will pester you for money.


I wish that it would stay no lower than 40 degrees throughout this winter.
 
granted, but you have to move to Alaska as soon as it does


I wish for a Butterfinger bar
 
Granted, but it's been in the back of the candy rack since 1984.



I wish I could transubstantiate.
 
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