Curroupt a Wish

[ikaiyoo]

granted... no wait fuck never mind not granted


I wish they would too

 

[luv2tikl]

Granted! But I'm not people, I'm one person.

I wish I had a cat with wings...

 

[natural tickler]

granted, but you got hungry, shot and ate it

I wish for some Kool-Aid

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. Kool-Aid Man crashes thru your wall with an "OH YEEEAAAHHH!!!" and pours you a cup of Kool-Aid. However, his crashing thru your wall took out a main support beam and the front of your house collapses.



I wish I had some fun new video games to play.

 

[Artoo]

Granted - you now no longer do anything else, including sleeping, eating and breathing.

I wish Jo would hurry up and post.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. She does...immediately after your 5,000th post and you have to proclaim you are her bitch.


I wish my job would give me a substantial raise.

 

[Artoo]

Granted. They raise you to the top of a building, then drop you off of it.

I wish I had two extra arms.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. They're made out of your legs.


I wish people would stop annoying me.

 

[Artoo]

Nah, even I can't grant that 😉

I wish I was cool.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. You're a block of ice.


I wish children had 'off' switches.

 

[RobAce]

Granted, but your wife or girlfriend never will.

I wish it was snowing.

Rob

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, 20 feet of snow drops on your house. You are isolated from the outside world and there's an axe-wielding psychopath in the house with you.



I wish I could type faster.

 

[sasaxrah]

Granted, but the amount of typos make it unreadable.

I wish tomorrow was Saturday.

 

[RobAce]

Granted, but it's the last Saturday you will get for the next 10 years.

I wish I had a cool hat.

Rob

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but the hat belonged to Supermack, super-powered pimp and he's comin' to get it back.


I wish I didn't need to sleep.

 

[RobAce]

Granted, but you have to recharge by sticking your penis into a light socket.

I wish I had a crazy straw.

Rob

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but Supermack takes it and shoves it somewhere unmentionable on you for taking his hat.


I wish I was highly trained in all martial arts.

 

[Artoo]

Granted. Every martial artist in the world gangs up on you and kicks your ass.

I wish I had a tickling fetish.

 

[luv2tikl]

Granted, but you join a tickling forum and find that girls, even those who share your fetish, think you're creepy and don't want to talk to you.

I wish I could make straight A's this semester

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but you flunk out anyway due to the Dean of the school finding out about certain inappropriateness involving you, a sorority mascot, a donkey and a bottle of anal lube.



I wish I was more awake this morning.

 

[ikaiyoo]

granted you are more awake... so much so you cannot go back to sleep for a month.


I wish I was more creative with that last corrupted wish

 

[Rorshach]

Granted, but your creativity resulted in getting you captured and "probed" by aliens.

I wish it were not so cold here.

 

[ikaiyoo]

granted 1000 gallons of boiling water falls on you

I wish my hand would stop shaking

 

[Rorshach]

It stops shaking from the car accident that paralyzes you.

I wish I could meet the TMF people for real.

 

[ikaiyoo]

granted but you only meet all the trolls and guys who are acting like chicks so they can cyber with other guys acting like chicks.


I wish I won the lottery