Curroupt a Wish

[Dave2112]

Granted, but now you can't shit, either. (Get it? Yeah...it was a reach.)


I wish I could play the ziggaphone.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. Sadly, you play it so badly, an angry mob comes to your house with torches and pitchforks.

I wish there were peace and properity in the world. (yeah, corrupt that, bitches!)

 

[Dave2112]

Granted...but it's only in Salt Lake City....the rest of the world erupts into anarchy.


I wish the world would erupt into anarchy.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. But all the animosity in the world is directed at you because of your bad ziggaphone playing. More mobs shortly arrive on your front lawn.

I wish I had a better understanding of my purpose in life.

 

[Dave2112]

Granted. But once you have the epiphany that your purpose is to help me learn the ziggaphone, you curl up under your Bengals blankie and hide from the world as it erupts into anarchy.


I wish someone would properly use the word "syzygy" in a sentence.

 

[Artoo]

Granted. But it happens in reference to the Moon crashing into the Earth, whilst in line with the Sun. Our planet is doomed, DOOMED!

I wish I could teleport to the US for gatherings 🙁 there aren't enough in the UK

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. But when you get here, you learn all gatherings have been moved to Australia.


I wish they play classic WB cartoons again.

 

[wanderingpixie2112]

Yes, but it sucks because they remove all the non-politically correct innuendo (including Bugs Bunny's habit of crossdressing).


I wish I could go back in time to see some of Rush's 70s, 80s and 90s gigs.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, except you hear all of them at once and it all sounds garbled and horrible.


I wish I could go back to sleep now.

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. Here's some NyQuil.

I wish my roomie would shut up.

Snail Shell

 

[baldadonis]

Granted, but he was about to tell you the winning numbers for the next lotto drawing.

I wish I had a 55 inch, 1080p, high-definition television.

 

[Dave2112]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's neatly tucked inside your lower intestines.


I wish I didn't get stuffed on 4th and inches in the Super Bowl on Madden, five points down with :45 left and after racking up 210 rushing yards.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. You get to replay your game and you are routed 74-14.


I wish I had more Steelers memorabilia.

 

[Dave2112]

Granted. And your lovely new bride has a full-body tattoo of the logo.


I wish I could unscramble an egg.

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. It is now liquified.

I wish I had some tasty lunch.

Snail Shell

 

[baldadonis]

Granted, I hope you weren't too attached to your cat.

I wish I was a starting guard in the NBA.

 

[tklee88]

you are, but you break your foot before you ever play a game.

I wish I could go ice skating!

 

[KrazieDog]

granted, but the temperature just hit 101. Hope you can swim.

I wish it would snow.

 

[tklee88]

granted, but you are trapped outside in it with no shoes or coat

I wish someone would write my paper for me

 

[baldadonis]

Granted, but they're going to write it in Portuguese. Hope that's ok.

I wish I had a Porsche.

 

[Cocky Watchman]

granted. i wrote "my paper" on some toilet paper and sent it to your teacher

i wish i was a spartan. not like the ancient greek, but like the master chief from halo.

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. You are now a fictional character in an over-hyped video game. 😀

I wish I could get my first class over with.

Snail Shell

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but all the rest of your classes have been re-scheduled to happen immediately afterward.


I wish the next few months would go by faster.

 

[Ferbtones]

granted but you've aged horribly afterwards

i wish i had a permament ler

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. Meet Venray. 😀

I wish I had someone to chat with...

Snail Shell