For folks who have trouble keeping things on topic:

[..Glamorous..]

who, me?

Lol, no no no.. not you.. Just some of the things that have been posted in here are like listening to little children fight over a fruit loop.

 

[venray]

I am SO retarded....


In fairness to Bill, we pmed back and forth quite a bit....and in the above context you would take it one way, but he had some good points even though at the end of the day we agreed to disagree....

 

[Mephistopheles]

I also feel too many people take this activity too seriously, as if there’s life & death decisions being made based on what’s posted here

Welcome aboard my truck! Care less, enjoy more!

 

[Deleted member 66627]

There are certainly many times you can off-shoot a thread for another one discussing elements of it, but when it comes to sensitive subjects people have a funny way of reacting and things can sprial out of control quickly, and then the mods have to come in, when if we can all just discuss and understand each others POV's then we would not have the mods cleaning things up.

Rob

The only insensitive people I see within this thread are those who feel their opinion is Jesus.

----

No one is telling you WHAT to post. No one should have to. You are old enough to know what is appropriate for situations and what is not.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I also feel too many people take this activity too seriously, as if there’s life & death decisions being made based on what’s posted here, so my responses generally have a lighter tone to them. Sometimes in bad taste? Perhaps. But again, that’s for the moderators, not the wannabe-mod-squad to decide.

It's astounding to me that people think that they can say whatever they want just as long as it's barely on this side of the "mod intervention needed" line. Just because something's not against the law doesn't make it right.

Your "joke" WAS in poor taste, and it wasn't appreciated. I knew, for a fact, that that was not the kind of response Knot was looking for, and so I told you, politely and privately in a PM, to please stop it.

Maybe you're comfortable joking about your marital discord, but not all people are, and this was one instance in which it might not have been something the mods needed to handle, but it WAS inappropriate, and whether my opinion matters to you at all or not, it wasn't was the OP wanted, and that SHOULD matter.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Sorry Jo but I see it differently. I see an entitlement mentality by some around here who feel their version of forum etiquette should be the lay of the land. And yes, that’s my opinion; are you prepared to tell me I’m not entitled to that (though I doubt I’m alone)?

I also feel too many people take this activity too seriously, as if there’s life & death decisions being made based on what’s posted here, so my responses generally have a lighter tone to them. Sometimes in bad taste? Perhaps. But again, that’s for the moderators, not the wannabe-mod-squad to decide.

Why are you so defensive? We're going to disagree a million more times then this, but assuming I have some power to give or take your opinion of entitlement is a little far out. Sure, I'll question it; I have before and I'm not the only one. As I'm sure you have as well, so what makes this situation so different?

I think the only thing that is really being taken too seriously is the fact that you and others have this humongous issue with feeling like (and I'm going to steal a line from some folks here: ) "your words on the internet" are being challenged. If this place is nothing but an activity, a fetish forum or something else along that same vein, then why do you even bother feeling as upset about it?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

To me, this changes the thread from support to asking a question. Perhaps I read into it too much, but to me that is how I precieve it. When Knot posted that, I felt compelled to respond (tactfully) because he opened up a discussion when he asked that question.

Rob

It's my opinion that the question was rhetorical, but let's say you're right. Responses such as yours and Crystal's and Purr's (who also responded to that question) were completely appropriate, even if in disagreement with one another. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the half a dozen people who were just there to argue, belittle and criticize. That's not support OR advice, it's being nasty, and it's wrong.

 

[C.K. Storyteller]

Not to go off topic, but this is why all students should have some debate experience in school.

There's a way to argue a point without it becoming a flame war, and without personal feelings getting too much in the way. Many of us are able to do that, and some are not.

 

[RobAce]

The only insensitive people I see within this thread are those who feel their opinion is Jesus.

----

No one is telling you WHAT to post. No one should have to. You are old enough to know what is appropriate for situations and what is not.

Agreed. No one has the special magic key on what people should or should not post. We as adults should be able to do that on our own. Where people may clash over the little bits here and there I think we all should be on board with the overall concept.

Rob

 

[RobAce]

Not to go off topic, but this is why all students should have some debate experience in school.

There's a way to argue a point without it becoming a flame war, and without personal feelings getting too much in the way. Many of us are able to do that, and some are not.

HERE HERE!! Not to be too much off topic but I agree.

But then again I was a 2 time national debate champion in High School and a NCAA Debating champion in college.

But those classes are very helpful, not only online but on the job as well.

Rob

 

[venray]

Forum ettiqutte is not pushing stuff on someone when asked not to...if your opinion MUST MUST get out there lest you explode...start a thread....If the person who started the other wants to read it, they will...if not, so be it....

I offered advice in my first post to knot, I was asked to just show support and subsequently did so...didnt hurt my ego any not to be tossing my "sage wisdom" at him...

The thing that got me the most was that some of the people pushing advice down his throat couldnt have a relationship with someone themselves if they tried.....

Many were telling him that his kid would be lost to him if he divorced....sorry folks, but it doesnt always work that way in "the real world" that some said we were not living in...

LOL Just too ironic...

I was not telling anyone they cant have an opinion, ettiquette is knowing when not to give it just for the sake of doing so...

 

[Mephistopheles]

HERE HERE!! Not to be too much off topic but I agree.

But then again I was a 2 time national debate champion in High School and a NCAA Debating champion in college.

But those classes are very helpful, not only online but on the job as well.

Rob

I do workshops on debating and presentation skills, but eventhough I cannot stress people enough to avoid emotional arguments and slippery slopes they still keep on doing it.

WHY? WHY? Why does life have to be such a hard mistress?

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Many were telling him that his kid would be lost to him if he divorced....sorry folks, but it doesnt always work that way in "the real world" that some said we were not living in...

Omfg. I remember that. I was Pissssssssssssssed. It's utter BS.

 

[C.K. Storyteller]

WHY? WHY? Why does life have to be such a hard mistress?

Each of us has our own hot-button issues, where we can not leave personal feelings and past history out of the conversation.

In these instances, I think a little heated argument is fine.

Its those people who choose to push buttons they shouldn't simply for their own selfish thrill that irritate me. Same with those who hide behind their online facade to revel in the suffering of others.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

then why do you even bother feeling as upset about it?

You’re assuming I’m upset … you know what happen when you assume.

Honestly I wasn’t even going to bother replying to this thread, but Rob & Skippy made it so tempting, I couldn’t resist. But I do think some of these issues needed to be discussed, kind of like a lightning bolt that clears the air after a strike.

So I’m done, and just to show there are no hard feelings on my side:

For Jo -
For Skippy - (extra one for the PM’s)
For Rob (again)
And nothing for Mephistopheles

 

[Mephistopheles]

And nothing for Mephistopheles

You don't care about me? Good. 🙂

 

[Fangz]

Sorry Jo but I see it differently. I see an entitlement mentality by some around here who feel their version of forum etiquette should be the lay of the land. And yes, that’s my opinion; are you prepared to tell me I’m not entitled to that (though I doubt I’m alone)?

I also feel too many people take this activity too seriously, as if there’s life & death decisions being made based on what’s posted here, so my responses generally have a lighter tone to them. Sometimes in bad taste? Perhaps. But again, that’s for the moderators, not the wannabe-mod-squad to decide.

People definitely take this too seriously. I thought at the end of the day this is a place for fun. Learning from fellow members and getting advice and support is really cool however it shouldn't make this place somewhere that's unpleasant to be because of the reasons Tony listed here. Lately, this place just isn't a positive experience anymore. I know it's just a message board but these posts do take time to make and I wonder if it's worth it anymore. I also wonder about Tony's comments about some ruling "in crowd" who get to tell everyone what to do here which of course wouldn't be that good to have.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

You don't care about me? Good. 🙂

I figured you'd prefer one of these

 

[unclebill]

See, you guys are throwing insults and assumptions of clique behavior, but yet you're acting as if you two are a part of something also. -- Neither of you are giving anyone a chance to disagree with either of you and when it's done, no matter what the type, it gets ripped at and made fun of. You both are older then the people that you're throwing scorn towards and should know better. I like you a lot, unclebill, but why do you have to feel like this is just some clique thing? It's never even gone that far yet. And, not like it matters, but I'm not as close to Knot as someone like Skip is and even I was agreeing with the request to keep it just as support only.

I am very fond of you as well, my dear. But I don`t appreciate having rocks thrown at me for voicing an opinion. And yes, I admit to being older than many. (50) But youth is no excuse for conducting yourself like a jackass. Venray and I exchanged pm`s for more than an hour yesterday, and at the end of the day we agreed to disagree. Perhaps knot didn`t wish to get advice from posters....... but perhaps he did. It seems a little strange to pour your heart and soul out in a public thread only to have people simply slap you on the back and say "atta boy". In my eyes (and many others) he WAS reaching out for help, and thats why so many offered advice including a well respected mod. Steph`s advice was brilliant, as was dvnc`s. From my perspective when children are involved in a broken or damaged marriage, listening to others that have been through divorce can be a fantastic tool. I don`t know knot in the least, but from his posts he seems like a good guy who is extremely proud of his baby girl. I want nothing but to see things work out for him and his family. Brighteyes accused posters of "judging knot" but I saw none of that.

As to being a "martyr" as brighteyes called me, I am guilty. Meangry is no angel, but he is extremely well educated and I felt contirbuted in a respectful manner in that thread. I took offense to the bashing he was taking, and at least tried to come to his aid. And yes, I have done this in the past to others who I feel deserve it. I try to see the good side in people young and old, and meangry is not the troll many of you make him out to be. And to those I offended for bringing up the clique word, I apologize and will try to refrain from using it in future threads.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I am very fond of you as well, my dear. But I don`t appreciate having rocks thrown at me for voicing an opinion. And yes, I admit to being older than many. (50) But youth is no excuse for conducting yourself like a jackass. Venray and I exchanged pm`s for more than an hour yesterday, and at the end of the day we agreed to disagree. Perhaps knot didn`t wish to get advice from posters....... but perhaps he did. It seems a little strange to pour your heart and soul out in a public thread only to have people simply slap you on the back and say "atta boy". In my eyes (and many others) he WAS reaching out for help, and thats why so many offered advice including a well respected mod. Steph`s advice was brilliant, as was dvnc`s. From my perspective when children are involved in a broken or damaged marriage, listening to others that have been through divorce can be a fantastic tool. I don`t know knot in the least, but from his posts he seems like a good guy who is extremely proud of his baby girl. I want nothing but to see things work out for him and his family. Brighteyes accused posters of "judging knot" but I saw none of that.

As to being a "martyr" as brighteyes called me, I am guilty. Meangry is no angel, but he is extremely well educated and I felt contirbuted in a respectful manner in that thread. I took offense to the bashing he was taking, and at least tried to come to his aid. And yes, I have done this in the past to others who I feel deserve it. I try to see the good side in people young and old, and meangry is not the troll many of you make him out to be. And to those I offended for bringing up the clique word, I apologize and will try to refrain from using it in future threads.

Hm. After reading this I think I might have errored in my own opinions.

I still feel that it should've been support only as requested, but I was never once trying to insinuate that the advice that was being given was improper. Except whomever made the side bar comment about going to lose the baby over a fetish. 😡

Thanks for not blowin' up at me, unclebill.

 

[BellaRisa]

Hmmm...

People definitely take this too seriously. I thought at the end of the day this is a place for fun. Learning from fellow members and getting advice and support is really cool however it shouldn't make this place somewhere that's unpleasant to be because of the reasons Tony listed here. Lately, this place just isn't a positive experience anymore. I know it's just a message board but these posts do take time to make and I wonder if it's worth it anymore. I also wonder about Tony's comments about some ruling "in crowd" who get to tell everyone what to do here which of course wouldn't be that good to have.

Over the years I've learned that your experience on these boards is what you make it. I'm no fan of drama, but the Stepford boards where members are too afraid of being like the 'drama forums' to voice a real opinion are soul-killingly boring to me; I prefer humans to droids even if it means working a little harder as a mod from time to time. And what no one ever seems to acknowledge is how easy it is to avoid any less-than-pleasant thread by (gasp!) not opening and participating in those threads. No one has to be subjected to the serious and intense discussions, if you'd rather just tell jokes and socialize and talk about feet we have entire subforums for you. As for the "ruling in-crowd", eh, every time you say that there isn't one you're conveniently told you're IN the damn thing. Whatever, I suppose it's nice to belong even if it's to a pretend Star Chamber 🙄 ...having said that, I've noticed a clique, if you will, of Grumpy Old Men types who feel entitled to tell others how to post, mock the posting style of people 20-30 yrs younger than themselves, and jump to defend anyone they feel is one of their own and being mistreated and pushed around. The irony there is just cliquishley fascinating.

Just some observations, YMMV...

 

[unclebill]

Hm. After reading this I think I might have errored in my own opinions.

I still feel that it should've been support only as requested, but I was never once trying to insinuate that the advice that was being given was improper. Except whomever made the side bar comment about going to lose the baby over a fetish. 😡

Thanks for not blowin' up at me, unclebill.

We soccer players have to stick together.

 

[RobAce]

We soccer players have to stick together.

Your a good guy for a democrat bill!!

Rob

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Your a good guy for a democrat bill!!

Rob

*hiss*

Nothing wrong with Democrats! *drags you to P&R*


😛

 

[SantaFeSwitch]

new party: the GOM

...having said that, I've noticed a clique, if you will, of Grumpy Old Men types who feel entitled to tell others how to post, mock the posting style of people 20-30 yrs younger than themselves, and jump to defend anyone they feel is one of their own and being mistreated and pushed around. The irony there is just cliquishley fascinating.

Just some observations, YMMV...

LOL!

off-topic: that's what the GOP is now, yes? ;-)