My Beloved Mom.. January 19, 1938-April 4, 2012

[Mitchell]

Something dumb I did. I'm trying to rectify it.. so PLEASE understand that I was not thinking when I did it.

The chaplin who sat with us last night called me this morning, when I was on the phone with other family/friends. I rushed the guy off the phone. I didnt have his number, but I called the nursing home to try and find out, and they couldnt tell me. Sigh! They said someone was going to get back to me. I hope so. The guy was so kind, and I feel terrible that I blew him off.

Hopefully this can be rectified. I know people dont think in times of great grief, and this is what happened with this situation.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

Two other things..,

I believe my mom knew me until the end. One of the nurses reprimanded me last night, for not wishing my mom to pass, and go to peace. No. Of course I didnt want her to suffer, but.. at times of loss of the closest person to you, you want to hang onto them for dear life.

Another thing.. I was told that the hearing is the last sense to go before a person dies. All last night I stroked my mom;s face, telling her how I loved her to the ends of the earth, and to go to peace. As sick as she was, she got a look of recognition on her face.

I was there until the end. I put no feather in my cap. My mom deserved every bit of my love, support, and attentiion. She was the most kind mother.. often above and beyond what other mothers would have done. I cherish that thought forever.

Mitch

 

[TropicThunder]

I'm sorry for your loss, Mitchell, and I'm glad you got to be there by her side.

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you, Tropic. I agree with you. I'm relieved I was by her side too.

Mitch

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I'm sure the chaplain is used to people being rushed at times like this. No worries. You'll be hearing back!

 

[kis123]

Mitch;

My condolences to you and your family for your loss. Your mom was a warrior in every sense of the word and she beat her disease, maybe not in the way you would've liked but she suffers no more and the cancer can't hurt her anymore either.

Give yourself some time to absorb all of this then decide what you want to do next. As always, my PM box is open if you need me. Unfortunately, I have my share of experience in this area you can glean from if you'd like.

Take care, be blessed, and remain in peace.

 

[Angel_2]

Mitchell, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mother was a strong person and gave all she could to fight this until the very end. She is at peace and no longer suffering through pain. As heartbreaking as this is know she has finally gone home to God and now will watch over you from the heavens above. Sorry for your loss you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless

 

[Libertine]

Condolences.

 

[Leo tickles]

Condolences. Well done on staying strong and being with her, I know you wanted that, and I'm sure she appreciated that.

Time to rebuild.

 

[paristickler]

My condolences, Mitch. I wish you the courage it takes for you to see the light soon again and feel at peace.
My best thoughts go to you and your mum.

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you, kis. Yes, she was a warrior. Early on, she kept saying she was going to beat it, then I was negative. Then, after we met the Drs in NJ, I thought she would live a long time. Since Feb 12, I've been realistic. What happened today is devestating, but not unexpected.

Thank you, Angel. Yes, I know she isnt suffering anymore.. I'm relieved at that.

Thank you, Libertine.

Thanks, Leo. Yes, I was with her every step of the way. Rebuilding starts next week when I get back from NY. For this week, I go to NY, bury her, and mourn. I'm entitled to that time.

Thank you, paris. I appreciate your thoughts.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

This is going to sound. stupid.. but.. maybe it's psychological.

I've been in the apartment alone since March 5, but I visited my mom several times a week at the home. Yet, the apartment seems more.. empty.. more silent.. with her passed away.

Moving will probably be good. I'm glad I dont have to stay here long term, even though I have all the posessions that were once hers, which are now mine, as a symbol of how she is still around me. I dont know yet if thats a comfort or a drawback.

Mitch

 

[Bugman]

Very sorry to hear this Mitch. Even when we know it's coming, it does not soften the blow. I'm glad you were able to be by her side at the end, I'm sure that comforted her a great deal. As for her things, I would suggest saving a few cherished items and giving the rest to family or friends, maybe donate some of it to Goodwill or a similar organization. It is my hope that your move go smoothy, and wish you all the best in your new life.

 

[Mitchell]

bug, thanks for your condolences, my friend.

Weeks ago, I packed up her clothes when she went to the home. I didnt want to give them away before she died. Now I will., I've sold some of her jewelry already as part of my business, to raise money for needed expenses. When I come home, I will figure out which clothes to give away, and which ones to sell.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I've been told the Chaplin is going to call me later today, but is with another family of either a dying patient, or someone who has already passed. Whoever I'm on with, I will take the man's call. I do not want to blow him off a second time.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

Another stupid thought. Gosh its weird how dumb things come into your head when a tramatic event happens.

Anyone in the Philadelphia area who watches Channel 6 news, may remember the sportscaster Gary Papa who passed away at age 54 of metastatic prostate cancer, in 2009. I still remember anchor Jim Gardner's words opening the newscast that night that Mr Papa died. "It is a chair that will never really be filled, it's as empty tonight as our hearts. Gary Papa died today. While his mind said never, his body finally surrendered.. to cancer". Mr Gardner's words about Mr Papa are exactly how I feel about my mom. Her presence will be missed by me always. Her mind said never, but her body finally surrendered, even after fighting for a long time while being terminally ill. And.. my heart is empty. I feel this loss like none I have ever felt before. I believe that while it might never get "better", I will just have to learn to cope, and move on. I know thats what my mom would have wanted for me.

Mitch

 

[Myriads]

Your parents possessions can be a comfort or a trap.

My advice (which I wish I gave myself 2 decades ago) is to rid yourself of almost all of it, excepting a very few bits that have exceptional personal value. As you are moving to a new place, a mostly new start might be exactly what will go your spirits and mind the best as you move forward into the new phase of your life.

Myriads

 

[Mitchell]

I agree Myriads.

My moms clothes will be given away, sold, etc.

I'm keeping my large chest in my bedroom, and a deed box. The rest my dad and I will discuss. We have a big breakfront in the living room that my mom loved, and asked me to keep. I';m going to try to honor her wishes, even if I have to put it in storage.

Her clothes will be given away when i come home from the funeral. i've sold some of her jewelry already to raise money for my travel expenses to see her in the home. As for the rest of it, my dad will help me sell or get rid of it.

Mitch

 

[Jagermeistered]

Mitch,

Condolences. Stay strong my friend!

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your condolences, jager. I'm heartsick, but trying to stay strong.

Mitch

 

[General Zod]

Mitch
I am so sorry for your loss. 🙁

Chad aka Zod

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your condolences, Chad. They are appreciated.

Mitch

 

[stroker]

Sorry for your loss Mitchell . The grieving period will be hard, but in time it will pass . Your mother is at peace now . Take care of yourself.

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you, stroker. Yes, I know she is at peace. As much as I grieve her loss, I loved her so much, that I have to be unselfish on a level, and be relieved she isnt suffering anymore.

Mitch

 

[unclebill]

I`m so sorry for your loss, Mitch. But I gotta tell you how proud I am of the way you handled yourself throughout your mom`s illness... especially the last couple months. You had some really heavy stuff thrown your way, and you handled it like a champ. I know the next few days will be difficult, as well so keep your head held high and continue to display the dignity to family and friends.