"Posting personal issues on a fetish forum," or, "And no fucks were given that day."

[DontAskJusTckle]

I've never been one to post personal issues unrelated to kink on fetish forums. Sometimes I post them now in specialized subgroups on Fetlife, but even then I am very careful. If something bad happened in my life and I want only sympathy and kind words, I'll say so. I generally reserve this sort of thing for a blog, not a forum. If I am looking for advice, I brace myself for whatever people may throw at me. Sure, sometimes it's nice to get a different angle from a stranger who knows nothing about the situation other than what you've posted. At what point, though, is enough enough?

So, do you see forums such as this as an outlet for your own personal, well, bullshit?

Here's my take.

Like everything, there is a reasonable balance somewhere. There have been plenty of threads where somebody posts a personal issue, gets different flavors of advice, and all is well. Those are of course the best scenarios in which the principle of online community works to most everybody's benefit.

But then there are threads posted about emotional issues, and that's when things can get volatile very quickly. One wrong word, one misunderstanding, one badly timed joke, and it can all spiral.

BrightEyes' policy seems to be a good one to follow. Personal issues, be prepared for stuff you might not want to hear. If you want to share some kind of loss, such as a death, breakup, layoff, etc., that's probably better off in a blog, because the blogs are more personal and likely only to be visited by people you befriend, rather than the huge audience of strangers that comes with General Discussion.

I remember a little while back, there was a guy who was having marital problems due to his wife objecting to his participation in the TMF and his attendance at gatherings. She basically gave him an ultimatum and he chose the TMF. He was looking for sympathy, support and understanding, of which he did get a decent share. But there were some who admonished him to reconsider his decision, and put family first.

Problem was, he'd already made up his mind, and wasn't really looking for advice. Only sympathy and a friendly ear. Was it wrong for some people to give him advice he didn't ask for? Was it wrong for them to respectfully question his decision? These two questions were hotly debated in that thread, with no clear majority consensus.

For this reason, I agree with Brighteyes, that these kinds of emotional issues are better expressed in blogs rather than General Discussion.

 

[coldneck]

wow... you must take forever in the can

Hahaha! Good one!
I read the "real" paper at my extended lunch-hour when i (rarely) have the chance, and the "Weekly Entertainment-type Thang" in the can (in bits and pieces), but yeah ...I still enjoy the printed media.

I find it way more informative than the blurbs I see on Google News or MSN or online rags in general.
It just seems more "real" to me.
Plus, I get to unplug from the real world for a while and indulge myself in Thai food and the news.

 

[C.A.B.]

Hahaha! Good one!
I read the "real" paper at my extended lunch-hour when i (rarely) have the chance, and the "Weekly Entertainment-type Thang" in the can (in bits and pieces), but yeah ...I still enjoy the printed media.

I find it way more informative than the blurbs I see on Google News or MSN or online rags in general.
It just seems more "real" to me.
Plus, I get to unplug from the real world for a while and indulge myself in Thai food and the news.

Nothin' wrong with a little mee krob and the smell of fresh newsprint. A little time-out from the world to say, "Phuket."

 

[coldneck]

Instead of sinking to coldneck's level.. I'm just going to ask this question.

To quote coldneck's latest post.

"whining, sniveling man child".

Mitch, if you're going to quote me, please be accurate and learn the complex task of cut/paste instead of relying on your feeble memory.

Here's what I actually said:

"I'll take that any fucking day over a whiny, sniveling, excuse-filled man-child."

How is this not a personal attack? Or is this just his OPNION?

Also, he follows me around to troll every thread I'm in, such as what he did in this thread, and the fact that he resurrected the original thread that caused all this shit, the even keel thread, when it was almost on the second page.

Um, yeah ... because nothing sez: 'I know my shit' like misspelling your OPNION.

Posting to BrightEyes thread is hardly "following you around".
Hell, that's almost impossible not to do when you post in every single thread you assume is "obviously about you".

Oh, and to get this out of the way in advance before she can go off on me. Brighteyes.. before you accuse me of hijacking YOUR thread.. why dont you admonish coldneck for his pattern of nothing more than troll behavior, by following me into YOUR thread, with little more than personal attacks.

Because she's just not gonna. Duh! [facepalm]
Come'on, try to keep up . Brighteyes has been critical/sick of your approach, and you're asking her to wave her finger and "Bad Dog" me?
Really?!
Pay attention, please.
That way, we don't have to keep explaining it, OK?

This has been said many times before but it begs repetition: "It's not all about you."


Mitch, you continually wonder and ask Why? WHy? WHY? don't people admonish Coldneck, and then continually call me a "troll".

LOL. If anyone's a troll on this forum, it's you.
You make every thread about YOU! Trolls do that in an attempt to dominate the forum, which is what you've done over the last year+.

Case in point: Even if forum members DON'T respond (in sympathy or favorably) to your relentless posts, they are considered inconsiderate and intolerable in your book.
(aside: "considered inconsiderate" did i just say that?)

Then, to go on bitching and moaning and whining about everything under the sun, subject notwithstanding ... it really doesn't matter whether you started the thread or not. It's nauseating.

The real killer is that you can't see why others are disgusted/repelled/saddened/sick of it.

 

[Bothersome]

Let's not kid ourselves. This thread wouldn't exist had Mitchell not dragged out that other thread.

 

[Jagermeistered]

And, we are on lucky page 13...

 

[coldneck]

Let's not kid ourselves. This thread wouldn't exist had Mitchell not dragged out that other thread.

... and in essence, that's what this thread is really about.

Not the person, but the act... of dragging ... it ... out ... and making it ... all about ... you guesses it ... YOU!!!

Now go get your prize!

 

[Jagermeistered]

Can we end this on page 13? That number is fucking awesome! 😀

 

[Mitchell]

The initial thread that caused all this mud slinging, was far less damaging than the replies to that thread, especially by coldneck, and the creation of this thread, and the replies to it.

Personal issues (The topic of this thread) BFD. Those who read the thread could have either. A. Offered constructive suggestions on how to deal with the problem . B. Ignored the thread. . coldneck has done neither. . His is option three, to attack, constantly. He continually posts one attack after the next, referring to me as a "whiny, sniveling man child". This behavior is allowed, but I'm challenged when I admonish him, and call him a troll.

Newsflash, coldneck, if you're going to repeatedly attack someone as you have me, they are going to call you things like troll. Notice that even if I've had disagreement with others in the thread, I've never called anyone that.

Its pointless. You will never change. You will always view me as you do, and I will always view your posts and demeanor toward me as trollish, with nothing constructive to say.

 

[GQguy]

Coldneck....let it go dude. Go to your job, pay your bills, kiss your wife and take care of your kids. You're getting way into this when the reality of what you're saying is all around you. No need to drive your point further than living your own life as your own man. I ask that you step back. Say you will, and actually follow through with it. Sometimes telling someone and extolling the benefits of living their in a different way isn't enough....sometime just living it will suffice. When they want it bad enough they'll come and ask you how to make it happen.

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, you dont get it. Its not about a "point". Its for him to be a troll. An insulting, attacking.. never ending troll.,

Oh, and btw, anyone who wants to know the ending story to the shit that caused all these threads in the first place, go read my blog. Its like a Touche on all of you who attacked me.

 

[C.A.B.]

 

[chicago]

 

[C.A.B.]

Honestly, there's such a synergistic dance macabre going on between Mitch and Coldneck, I'm starting to wonder if they are the same person.

"Holy Munchausen, Batman!" *fist slaps hand

"...steady, Robin, steady..."

 

[Bothersome]

Maybe we can turn this into an old episode of Scooby Doo with a guest appearance by Batman and Robin.

 

[chicago]

 

[C.A.B.]

Maybe we can turn this into an old episode of Scooby Doo with a guest appearance by Batman and Robin.

Tell you what, if Coldneck rips his own rubber head off and its Mitch underneath, and he sez, "...And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids... and that hitman Anton Chigurh with the captive bolt and freaky Prince Valiant hair."

Then, we'll do it.

 

[coldneck]

Coldneck....let it go dude. Go to your job, pay your bills, kiss your wife and take care of your kids. You're getting way into this when the reality of what you're saying is all around you. No need to drive your point further than living your own life as your own man. I ask that you step back. Say you will, and actually follow through with it. Sometimes telling someone and extolling the benefits of living their in a different way isn't enough....sometime just living it will suffice. When they want it bad enough they'll come and ask you how to make it happen.

Dude, you kind of lost me after that first sentence.
You must have me mixed up with another Coldneck!

But, yeah ... i know what you're getting at.

 

[venray]

 

[Mitchell]

ray, I love that picture.

 

[Jagermeistered]

I want the fat one on the bottom. The one on the left with their ears down. They know what is for dinner...

 

[coldneck]

He continually posts one attack after the next, referring to me as a "whiny, sniveling man child". This behavior is allowed, but I'm challenged when I admonish him, and call him a troll.

Newsflash, coldneck, if you're going to repeatedly attack someone as you have me, they are going to call you things like troll.

Dude, I would much rather be called a "Troll" by a real Troll on a tickling fetish forum, than have to live the life of a 42 year old "PARASITE" who has leeched off his parents his entire life.

You should be ashamed of yourself for making excuses as to why you've taken this route, but you don't; you'd rather blame your father for your shortcomings than take responsibility for your own life decisions.

Bottom line: you don't get it.

None likes a whiner/excuse-maker/pathetic, chronic, loser in life.
Especially when you've been feeding off a silver platter, then pissed it all away because you'd rather hang out with your mom in a dingy apartment than go out into the world and make your way on your own.

It's just not in you. Face it.

That's why you've turned to Daddy for support.

You've never really left the nest.
You've never learned to fly.

You would DIE without your parents.

This is a fact that cannot be debated.
You can make your own versions of excuses as to why it is a reality, but it is a series of choices that lead to where you are now, and you made those choices, Buddy.
Now you'll have to live with them.

 

[Mitchell]

I'm going to say something here, which I hope will calm this whole thing down. At least with GQ, and kls.

Let me retract from things I've said in the past.. Let's assume that I was wrong in/overreacted to.... Brighteyes thread, and that she had validity in saying that personal things not be posted on the forum in the main forum.

Let's also assume, that based on their previous patterns, GQ and kis really did mean well with their advice to me. Even if harsh, their viewpoints have validity.. and I think they said it to truly root me on.

My question is: Why the hell is this behavior by coldneck being allowed to continue? The man is following me around in every thread, to take potshots at me, with mean spirited behavior, evil wishes, and predictions, in every thread or post I make.

To quote him.. just from his latest post.. His words, and evil wishes/predictions

"I'm a parasite".

"I'm a loser. "

I've turned to Daddy for support. "

"I would die without my parents. "

Harassment, in every fucking thread, on and on, and on! How the hell are these not considered "Personal attacks"???

WHY is nothing being done about him? When is enough, enough? When is the "Golden Rule" going to be enforced on him?

Aren't "parasite" "loser", and predicting someone would "die" without their father' s support, along with his pattern of behavior, which seems to be getting worse by the day, grounds for violations in regard to personal attacks? Grounds for violation of the "Golden Rule"?

When does it end?

One final thing: How I know his behavior is intentional: Without getting into personal things about myself.. I posted an update to the situation that caused both of these threads in my blog. NOWHERE did coldneck say "Okay, you were right, Mitch" or. "Good to see you're making strides, keep moving in the right direction",. NOTHING like that, just the same old attacks.

GQ was wrong in his assessment that coldneck would say anything nice if something good happened to me. coldneck will continue to attack non stop unless one of three things happens. 1. He';s sanctioned by the mods 2. I leave the forum. 3. He leaves the forum. Other than that, the attacks against me will just continue, and get worse.

 

[Jagermeistered]

Mitch,

It is not nice to provoke harm against others(you know that, GR rules)... I used to be anti-war and pro-peace, but gave up on the anti-war - it was one or the other(I chose pro-peace). The two ideologies can never co-exist(sociologically). Stop throwing "marshmallows" at people already(pro-peace), and not have any bombs in the "marshmallow"(anti-war). Saying, "the attacks are only going to get worse"... It is because you are posting like a non-hormonal bitch. You know this is not a personal attack, but a philosophical critique.

 

[Mitchell]

jager. I think you know what I mean. Im going to clarify myself then. We both know he doesnt attack others besides me. I'll edit my post.

I also find another thing most regrettable.

coldneck has posted the most vicious attacks, and evil wishes against me. So far the mods havent done anything about him. That someone else didnt step in and say to him "Enough is enough", for the good of the envrionment of the forum. He's just allowed to go on and on.