"Posting personal issues on a fetish forum," or, "And no fucks were given that day."

[GQguy]

There are tons of forum members that pass over these personal threads. The smarter ones have learned not to even bother wasting their breath offering assistance realizing that the actual outreach for support and the attention it receives is the ends and not the content of the advice given.

We that offer our assistance to the chronic victims are equally to blame for satiating their addiction for attention whether it be positive or negative. Perhaps we need to look at ourselves and accept the fact that some people don't want help. Our tough love and the like should be focused on other parts of the forum. There are people on here that need love and are willing to listen to what we have to say. The next time someone tries to draw you in with their victim/woe is me/blame everyone else threads lets skip over it and post in a thread more deserving of our attention.

I think we have a member that is very ill. Lets show her some support.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the different results. While this applies to the perpetual victims on the forum, it very much applies to us that expect to help the lives of those that want no help.

 

[fireguardian]

So stop responding to him. There's this crazy old idea that if you ignore them they go away! If you don't give them exactly what they are looking for in a response you remove what amusement they derive from antagonizing you. They get bored. You, sadly, just let it ruffle your feathers each time and give them the shits and giggles they are looking for. Sounds pretty simple because it is pretty simple. Block him so you don't see his posts. Like magic it's gone and no more comments from the peanut gallery upset you. Calling foul each time and arguing with them just let's them know what to do to get the exact result they want for their own amusement. Stop making it so easy for them.

 

[Mitchell]

fire, coldneck is on ignore. I've had him on ignore for years.

There are times I dont respond. What he does then is to follow me around the forum in any meaningful thread I post in, and continually take potshots at me.

In many ways this forum reminds me of grade school behavior with the vicious threads/posts, etc. Think of it, in real life, if we end a friendship, or dont talk to someone, we dont send them ranting emails or such ad nasueam, unless we have dealings with them. This forum is different. Taunting, and belittling, goes on, and on and on.

 

[primetime]

So stop responding to him. There's this crazy old idea that if you ignore them they go away! If you don't give them exactly what they are looking for in a response you remove what amusement they derive from antagonizing you. They get bored. You, sadly, just let it ruffle your feathers each time and give them the shits and giggles they are looking for. Sounds pretty simple because it is pretty simple. Block him so you don't see his posts. Like magic it's gone and no more comments from the peanut gallery upset you. Calling foul each time and arguing with them just let's them know what to do to get the exact result they want for their own amusement. Stop making it so easy for them.

Not that easy apparantly. We already went that route with those suggestions. It is what it is.

Coldneck, dude I get the whole "advice" you were giving Mitch. I am even good with the whole depiction of him and his issues with his father, friends, personal life, etc. But to go towards his mother is kind of a bit too far. Oedipus complex? Man, leave that stuff out of it. The man's mother passed away from cancer and he was her caretaker. That has nothing to do with his maturity level, or anything. He was taking care of a dying parent. Somethings should just be left out of your "advice" to him. The other stuff (lack of focus, father issues, friend issues,) feel free to talk about that stuff. His mother and that whole situation? Let that be.

If we all think about it, this thread is a huge train wreck. What are we all getting out of this really?

 

[fireguardian]

fire, coldneck is on ignore. I've had him on ignore for years.

There are times I dont respond. What he does then is to follow me around the forum in any meaningful thread I post in, and continually take potshots at me.

In many ways this forum reminds me of grade school behavior with the vicious threads/posts, etc. Think of it, in real life, if we end a friendship, or dont talk to someone, we dont send them ranting emails or such ad nasueam, unless we have dealings with them. This forum is different. Taunting, and belittling, goes on, and on and on.

Then my question is if he's on ignore why do you still look at what he says? I've got some folks on ignore and because of that I don't see what they post. That why I have no issues with them. If you keep taking them off ignore just to see what they are saying about it then frankly you're doing it to yourself. If they are on ignore they are probably their for a reason and they should stay there. Again pretty simple. Stop allowing needless drama in.

 

[Mitchell]

prime, thank you... to an extent. Although the way coldneck talks about the "valid" issues you mentioned is not in the way you do. You might not agree with me, but you have always been civil, which I appreciate. Even GQ, when I've disagreed, has always expressed his opinions civilly. coldneck just goes on and on with the bashing, because he can.

The thread is a train wreck because it never should have been started in the first place. I take complete responsibility (without mentioning specific threads) for threads I start that go out of control. This one was not me.

fire, I'm not allowing needless drama. I think it disgusting that the same person continues to get away with this. Funny how you're talking to me about "needless drama", but you havent told him.. "Enough is enough, you both hate each other, stop commenting on everything Mitch posts.", To me, you're validating him by criticizing me and not discussing a word about his history.

 

[stroker]

If I read a book and don't like it I can blame the book. If I read a second book by the same author and don't like it , I can blame the author . If I continue to read books by the same author and dont like them then the only person I should blame is myself.

 

[fireguardian]

Here's the thing I don't give two shits about your history. He's having to much fun doing what he's doing so he's not going to stop. Accept that. It's pretty damn obvious that it won't change. So be the bigger man and move beyond it if it is bothering you so much.

Or just take it back to the original point of this thread and leave private life private or if you feel the need to share that's what blogs were invented for. That's probably the safest and sanest route.

I believe a campaign should be started to help clarify what is thread worthy and what is blog worthy.

 

[Mitchell]

I agree with your last point, but in my ten years here, this hasnt been clarified.

 

[fireguardian]

What? Thread vs. Blog? If you think it could get out of hand like some have keep it in a blog. If it's rant about a personal issue you want some sympathy on keep it in a blog. If you are posting something for humor or info on another member (like the one about tickleshotel is an acceptable personal post. Scrub is just letting her friends here know what is happening with her in case they can't reach her) or you have an idea for a good, healthy, discussion, debate or banter; that all goes in a thread.

Those are generally the rules I try and live by. Also I strive to stay away from gut responses. If it pisses me off too much I step away, compose myself and think of a response when the anger cools. I have said some pretty awful and hurtful things when I ignored that one. Only made me look like the fool. So I do my best to avoid it. It's not easy and I'm sure as hell not perfect at it. But I try and live by it.

 

[kis123]

As far as the "don't read it" POV. That's weak. Really fucking weak.
It's akin to skipping over stories of mass murders in the newspaper.
Sorry, but I read the whole paper. I can take it, but I don't like a lot of it.

And if this were a newspaper, I might agree with you. But it's not a newspaper, it's a message board and no one can possibly read everything in its entirety. And even with a newspaper, you can pick and choose what you read; if you choose to read something that pisses you off, then DON'T READ IT!!

There must be something better we can come up with, than that flimsy excuse of a solution.

That's not a flimsy excuse; it's simple yet profound common sense solution. When we participate in threads, we all have choices to make. As I said earlier, there are certain people that when I see their names in a thread, I'm good to go and keep going.

So I can't speak for you or anyone else, but for me it's an awesome solution.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

I agree with your last point, but in my ten years here, this hasnt been clarified.

 

[coldneck]

Every now and then I just think my god this place could have been brilliant. Instead there's this. Only thing more boring/annoying/cringey than people posting they're personal shit on here? People having public arguments. Dirty laundry or what people? Sort it out man...

"You don't have to read the replies, either. Just don't click on them."

See what I mean?!?

 

[coldneck]

And if this were a newspaper, I might agree with you. But it's not a newspaper, it's a message board and no one can possibly read everything in its entirety. And even with a newspaper, you can pick and choose what you read; if you choose to read something that pisses you off, then DON'T READ IT!!



That's not a flimsy excuse; it's simple yet profound common sense solution. When we participate in threads, we all have choices to make. As I said earlier, there are certain people that when I see their names in a thread, I'm good to go and keep going.

So I can't speak for you or anyone else, but for me it's an awesome solution.

Well, KIS, when I invest myself in a thread, I read all the posts. If I happen to miss a few day, then I catch up.
Obviously you do the same, you read every post in the thread, like mine.

You've been pissed off and frustrated with the last few threads by Mitch, and given him countless, mostly ignored advice, and have been obviously frustrated.
How are you any different from the rest of us?

You keep posting, but are now giving conflicting advice.
How are you any different from the rest of us?


To me, skipping over a post in a thread/story I'm following and saying to myself "well now, that post was made by SatanicGuy666, so I'm just not going to read it ... I'll move on... he's an idiot...
Only to find out peeps are commenting on SG666's post and following up on it ... well, I probably missed something of value by ignoring him, due to my own bias judgement.

Wanna know why Howard Stern is so damn popular?!
You know.
Same with any controversial personality w/ opinions.

I'll take that any fucking day over a whiny, sniveling, excuse-filled man-child.

I, personally, want to hear what *everyone* has to say.

Closing my EARS, EYES and MOUTH like the Monkeys only keeps me uninformed and in the dark.

I choose not to take that approach.

And jess, I *do* read the paper cover to cover.
I paid a buck for it, why not?!?
I even do the Jumble.

It's just my approach.
I live w/o filters.
Yeah, baby!

 

[coldneck]

And if this were a newspaper, I might agree with you. But it's not a newspaper, it's a message board and no one can possibly read everything in its entirety. And even with a newspaper, you can pick and choose what you read; if you choose to read something that pisses you off, then DON'T READ IT!!!

I read every post in a thread I choose to follow, much like a newspaper series of articles or a story arc.

For example: the Casey Anthony trial a couple of years ago. Yes, the entire premise of the events pissed me off, but I wanted to see how it ended, so I saw it through.
I was invested.
Surely, you can see the correlation.

 

[Bothersome]

I love how the ones that are complaining about this are the people who are perpetuating the problem.

It takes two to tango, folks. If you don't understand what I mean, then it definitely hints as to why you're doing it, and if you do, then you're just trolling for the sake of being a troll.

 

[Mitchell]

Instead of sinking to coldneck's level.. I'm just going to ask this question.

To quote coldneck's latest post.

"whining, sniveling man child".

How is this not a personal attack? Or is this just his OPNION?

Also, he follows me around to troll every thread I'm in, such as what he did in this thread, and the fact that he resurrected the original thread that caused all this shit, the even keel thread, when it was almost on the second page.

Even if I felt that I shouldnt have posted "personal issues" on the forum. Know what, I'm not going to apologize anymore. What I did with posting personal issues, is far less damaging than what coldneck is doing, trailing me in every thread with taunting, belitting, and attacking posts, simply because he's been shown that this is what hes being allowed to do.

Oh, and to get this out of the way in advance before she can go off on me. Brighteyes.. before you accuse me of hijacking YOUR thread.. why dont you admonish coldneck for his pattern of nothing more than troll behavior, by following me into YOUR thread, with little more than personal attacks.

 

[kis123]

Well, KIS, when I invest myself in a thread, I read all the posts. If I happen to miss a few day, then I catch up.
Obviously you do the same, you read every post in the thread, like mine.

You've been pissed off and frustrated with the last few threads by Mitch, and given him countless, mostly ignored advice, and have been obviously frustrated.
How are you any different from the rest of us?

You keep posting, but are now giving conflicting advice.
How are you any different from the rest of us?


To me, skipping over a post in a thread/story I'm following and saying to myself "well now, that post was made by SatanicGuy666, so I'm just not going to read it ... I'll move on... he's an idiot...
Only to find out peeps are commenting on SG666's post and following up on it ... well, I probably missed something of value by ignoring him, due to my own bias judgement.

Wanna know why Howard Stern is so damn popular?!
You know.
Same with any controversial personality w/ opinions.

I'll take that any fucking day over a whiny, sniveling, excuse-filled man-child.

I, personally, want to hear what *everyone* has to say.

Closing my EARS, EYES and MOUTH like the Monkeys only keeps me uninformed and in the dark.

I choose not to take that approach.

And jess, I *do* read the paper cover to cover.
I paid a buck for it, why not?!?
I even do the Jumble.

It's just my approach.
I live w/o filters.
Yeah, baby!

My approach to Mitch has been consistent and very firm, and I haven't wavered at all. I haven't called names, made unnecessary insults directly intended to keep the BS going. That has been my only investment to help him; whether or not he accepts or not is his choice.

You say you don't care, but you haven't stopped posting have you? In addition to that, you've bumped the other thread that everyone including Mitch wanted to die.

In the beginning I thought you were being blunt but helpful. Now you're just being blunt.

But that is also your business because if I were Mitch I would've set this to ignore and kept it moving a long time ago. I no longer spend my valuable time arguing with folks in cyberspace. I'll joust and parry in P&R for a bit and when that becomes annoying drama with people who will NEVER change no matter if you hit them over the head with the truth like a baseball bat, I end it by leaving the thread. I said all I choose to say on the matter and there's nothing else to talk about as far as I'm concerned. That's why I don't get into thread lockdown battles anymore; I have better things to do with my time.

So if you choose to invest your energy into something you claim you don't care about, you're an adult and knock yourself out.

This is still NOT a newspaper; if lt were I'd be even less interested because there's nothing in the news that I really give a crap about. If it doesn't add a dollar to my pocket or enhances my quality of life, it's just information and I won't emotionally invest in it.

Now that I've answered your post to my satisfaction, I'm all done and you can keep the drama going all by yourself. But you do have Mitch that you are now beating unnecessarily. I've never known name calling and mud slinging to beneficial to the improvement of anyone's quality of life.

Be at peace and may your day be awesome.......

 

[kis123]

Instead of sinking to coldneck's level.. I'm just going to ask this question.

To quote coldneck's latest post.

"whining, sniveling man child".

How is this not a personal attack? Or is this just his OPNION?

Also, he follows me around to troll every thread I'm in, such as what he did in this thread, and the fact that he resurrected the original thread that caused all this shit, the even keel thread, when it was almost on the second page.

Even if I felt that I shouldnt have posted "personal issues" on the forum. Know what, I'm not going to apologize anymore. What I did with posting personal issues, is far less damaging than what coldneck is doing, trailing me in every thread with taunting, belitting, and attacking posts, simply because he's been shown that this is what hes being allowed to do.

Oh, and to get this out of the way in advance before she can go off on me. Brighteyes.. before you accuse me of hijacking YOUR thread.. why dont you admonish coldneck for his pattern of nothing more than troll behvaior, by following me into YOUR thread, with little more than personal attacks.

The solution to your problems is to set this to ignore and walk away. I wouldn't care if someone talked about my children, my dead mother, or my domestic orange tabby cat.......when I'm done, I am done!

As of this post, kis is done with all of this nonsense because she has better things to do than to waste time spinning in circles. If you want to keep complaining about the posts of someone who has no intention of stopping, you go ahead with that. It's a complete waste of time and energy and I won't involve myself in it any further.

There are people out here with severe problems that need my help and they'll listen to me and do what I suggest to get out of their situation. Apparently that has been wasted around here and on you.

Remain blessed and in peace

 

[C.A.B.]

And jess, I *do* read the paper cover to cover.
I paid a buck for it, why not?!?
I even do the Jumble.

wow... you must take forever in the can

 

[chicago]

lol Mitch is now the one member in this thread posting the least.

And it makes less sense now than it did when it began.

The "Well I'm a better person because I can just ignore things" posts (except this thread apparently)

and the "shame on you" *wagging finger* posts are the most annoying. I see no difference between them and Coldneck's posts at this point.

No one's going to change anyone's mind here about anything. Neither is my post here apparently.

Oh the madness.

 

[C.A.B.]

lol Mitch is now the one member in this thread posting the least. And it makes less sense now than it did when it began. The "Well I'm a better person because I can just ignore things" posts (except this thread apparently) and the "shame on you" *wagging finger* posts are the most annoying. I see no difference between them and Coldneck's posts at this point. No one's going to change anyone's mind here about anything. Neither is my post here apparently. Oh the madness.

roll with it, baby... just submit, and roll with it....

 

[Mitchell]

The reason I'm not posting in this thread is not because I think I'm better than anyone else, Mairead. It's just to calm things down. I figure if I dont say anything, the thread, and the issue, will hopefully go away in time.

 

[chicago]

How you came to the conclusion that I thought you weren't posting because I thought you had the idea you were better than anyone is completely amazing.

You are clearly better than no one. And in this thread, no one is better than you.

We've all been reduced to babbling morons.

 

[C.A.B.]

We've all been reduced to babbling morons.

Speak for yourself. I, for one, have been 'upgraded' to a babbling moron.