Taking A Turn For The Worst..

[Mitchell]

Quickly..

I went to Reading Hospital this morning. On the way up I got a call from the Dr that said. "She's dying", When I got to the hospital, the boom was lowered. She has a blood clot in her lung. Her vital signs were stable, when I left briefly to come home and get clothes/meds. The nurse from Hospice said she didnt think it would be long, but she probably wont die in the next couple of hrs. the home gave up her bed, and another has to be found if she lives a few days and makes it out of the hospital, I'm going back up there to be with her. I will be home either because she passed away, or because she made it out of the hospital, back to the home, and I have to come home. She cant even talk.

My dad has been great. He told me he couldnt sleep last night, and was devestated for me. I've been strangely calm., I dont want her to suffer, but I';m still not sure if when she dies, whether I'll crack up then. Part of me hopes it happens soon, so she wont suffer, and I can be there with her.

I will post again when I can, either in this thread if she lives.. or a new one, as Myriads permitted me, if/when she dies. She doesnt have long.. I know.. but.. we dont know exactly when it will happen. Hospice says as we get closer, they will be able to give me a better idea.

Mitch

 

[b0xr]

So sorry for all the Hell you are going through right now Mitch. My thought and prayers are with you.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Continuing to send prayers and good thoughts your way, Mitch.

 

[kis123]

Mitch you and your family are in my thoughts. Just make sure she's as comfortable as possible and let her go peacefully.

This just breaks my heart! But I will say she gave it one helluva fight!

 

[kopfhorer]

You & your family are in my thoughts too, Mitch.

 

[Angel77]

You and your mother are in my prayers Mitch.

 

[kis123]

He hasn't posted since the 28th-I hope he's okay but I think it may be over.

Don't want to get caught assuming, but we haven't heard from him in awhile.

 

[kopfhorer]

I suspect you may be right about that.

You're still in my thoughts, Mitch and probably a lot of other folks' too.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Been wondering the same thing. Prayers and good vibes continuing to go out to you all, Mitch.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks to everyone. It's not over, but it very, very nearly was.

The nurses at Reading Hospital said my mom is the best fighter they've ever seen. She nearly died. The nurses said most other people would have, but she is still hanging on.

She was in Reading Hospital for five days with a blood clot in her lung, and a very high fever. I was with her 24-7. It was too far for me to risk coming home for a break, for fear she would die while I was gone. The fever broke, the infection is gone, and she was released today. She is medically deteriorating, and her veins are turning the color of death. The nurses say they expect she has about 2 weeks left, maximum. However, because she is "medically stable", she was released to a nursing home in Lancaster today, and will spend her final days there. She cannot speak, and I have been feeding her. They claim once she stops eating complately, she will have a week left, max. Im going to go to the home every day, now that shes in town, to feed her at least one meal.

The staff at Reading Hospital is very kind. My plan is that once she passes, I'm going to spend 24 hrs alone in my apt grieving, and then go to my father's. I will announce her death to the forum, and be up in NY for several days. My aunt is supposed to come Wed/Thur if my mom doesnt die tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers. I know that when the end does come, I will be able to lean on my friends.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I should also say that as horrible as this is, I'm relieved that shes home in Lancaster. If I get a call that shes dying, I can be there in 5 mins, as opposed to 45. I've never been in a room when someone died, but my hope is to be with her to hold her hand when the end does come. I've cried many tears over the past five days, and I know that even though I know the call is coming soon, I will be heartbroken when I'm told that my wonderful mother has passed away. She cant even speak, and gasps for breath, but she knows her Mitch. We still share loving moments, and even though she cant say my name any more, I know she will know I was there with her. Her passing may happen with her being in a coma first, or just falling assleep, and not waking up. The Drs cant seem to tell me yet.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

Well I tell you, she's one helluva fighter!!

My thoughts are with you and your family Mitch; this must be gut wrenching for you. And so very sad for your mom.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, hun. I appreciate your thoughts.

It is gut wrenching. I know she is going to go, but I also know that when that call comes,. I will be devestated. I know no one else in the 610 area code,. and last Tuesday night when the calls were coming, my heart was breaking.

They have instructions to call me 24-7. I keep feeling mom will die at 2 or 3 am and they will wake me up. My aunt thinks i'm pulling dramatic thoughts. Whenever she dies, whether I'm visiting, or called, I'm going to be crushed.

Mitch

 

[GQguy]

So sad. This might sound weird but thank you for sharing this experience with us. While I've nearly lost a parent before it was different in how sudden it happened. I didn't have to go through the long process you're going through when a parent lives a full life. At some point however I'll(we'll) experience this too. Hopefully wrapping my mind around the scenario will better prepare me for this inevitability.

I said a prayer for you this morning.

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, thank you for your prayers, my friend. It doesnt sound weird for you to thank me for sharing this experience. I need support, and my friends have been here for me. As heartbroken as I'm going to be, it's good that I can share this with people who care.

This might sound stupid.. but..

She may be gone by then, or it may not happen then, but.. I dont recall if I posted that terrible things have happened to me when the Mets and Braves play each other in NY. My grandmother died in 1995,. hours after they finished a series at the old Shea Stadium. This Thursday, as baseball fans know, baseball season opens, and the Mets and Braves play a series at Citi Field. If shes not gone by then, I will be holding my breath this weekend, even though I know that even if she does make it, the end will come soon after.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

One other crazy thing is how the situation can change from one minute to the next.

Early today. one of the nurses at the hospital told me that my mom has a very weak sounding heart, and heart rate. Additionally, they pointed out how she is gasping for breath, taking a long time between each breath. I'm thinking at that point. "OMG, it's over". Then.. right before she got in the ambulance to come from Reading to Lancaster, another nurse, and the EMT's who brought her here, listened to her, and told me "She has a good, strong sounding heart".

One nurse last night did tell me that my mom has one major sign of approaching death, very cold hands and feet. I never knew that before.

It's difficult enough going through this, without getting the different nursing opinions. Sigh! I guess people can have different reads on things.

Mitch

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

She is a strong fighter. My thoughts and prayers again for you both. You are doing all you can and I am sure the hospital staff will allow your Mother as little pain as possible. I know the mixed diagnoses and opinions are confusing, but hopefully given with the best intentions.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Georgia. I appreciate your thoughts, my friend.

Right now she is actually in a nursing home in Lancaster. I very highly doubt she is going back to the hospital, unless a similar thing to last week happens, and they call me, and ask me if they can take her there. Even if she gets another infection at the nursing home before she dies, I believe the nursing home would have antibiotics to treat that. Plus, with her having been in the hospital for a month between Feb 12 and today, and given her condition, I have a strong feeling that Medicare and her secondary insurance is going to get pissed, and maybe disallow hospitalization or charges, unless a doctor can justify a reason why she should.. or would.. be there. I have a feeling she will remain in the nursing home until she dies, unless some extreme circumstance develops.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I want to make one other point..and before I do.. I want to make it clear that I am NOT saying this to start a fight or flame war, but merely to point out what I was told while I was in the hospital in Reading.

I spoke with several hospital Chaplins while I was in Reading, and they told me that my devestated feelings about my mother's situation, and likely passing in the short term, are completely normal, and have nothing to do with either my age, or living circumstance. These particular guys were in their 50s and 60s, and had lived on their own for many years at the time their mothers passed, and the told me that they both were crushed, and wept uncontrollably when their mothers died. Both chaplins said they would be more worried about me if I had no reaction to my mother's death, as opposed to the crushing feelings that I will have when it happens.

Anyhow, just wanted to make that point.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

OMG I just thought it was over.

The home just called. The guy started the convo with "I'm calling on your mother;s behalf" at 1am, I thought for sure he was calling to tell me she had passed away. No. Thank God. It turned out she vomited, and he wanted to ask me if this was something that had happened before. No. I've been in the hospital with her six days, no vomiting. I told him please never to start a convo with me like that again. It reminded me of the other doctor the other day when i was on my way to Reading, who told me to get up there, and that she was dying.

Now I'm afraid to go to sleep! Sigh! I wonder what is going to happen next.

Mitch

 

[Angel_2]

I've been following this even tho I've not been posting, Its heartbreaking to hear of your mother losing her battle. Its coming to an end but know your mother will finally be at peace and no longer have to suffer through this situation. Mitchell if I can offer a bit of advice its this, when your Mother dose indeed pass on I know you will be crushed and heartbroken like never before but you need to live your life. I'm sure its what your mother would want for you. Stay strong and keep your head up, you've got the support of friends and everyone here at TMF. As I told another friend of mine your not alone.

 

[Mitchell]

Angel, thank you. I do know this. I dont want her to suffer, and I know that she will want me to live life to the fullest. My father keeps saying that as devestated as I'm going to be, I have to live life the fullest in her memory.


Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I just got off the phone with the home. She made it through the night,but has serious stomach problems. This is a grave concern, because, the Drs and nurses at the hospital told me that if she cant eat or drink, she will pass away of dehydration in a matter of days to a week.

I'm going over there later this morning. I dont even know if it is safe to feed her or give her any liquids. I'll have to find out.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

The end is coming. I got a call this morning that she was dying., I'm staying at the home until she passes. A day, two, max, they said. Her skin is getting cold.

The next time I will be home is likely when she passes, for 24 hrs, before going to NY for the funeral. I hope it happens quickly. Watching her suffer is heartbreaking.

Mitch

 

[Angel77]

Thanks to everyone. It's not over, but it very, very nearly was.

The nurses at Reading Hospital said my mom is the best fighter they've ever seen. She nearly died. The nurses said most other people would have, but she is still hanging on.

She was in Reading Hospital for five days with a blood clot in her lung, and a very high fever. I was with her 24-7. It was too far for me to risk coming home for a break, for fear she would die while I was gone. The fever broke, the infection is gone, and she was released today. She is medically deteriorating, and her veins are turning the color of death. The nurses say they expect she has about 2 weeks left, maximum. However, because she is "medically stable", she was released to a nursing home in Lancaster today, and will spend her final days there. She cannot speak, and I have been feeding her. They claim once she stops eating complately, she will have a week left, max. Im going to go to the home every day, now that shes in town, to feed her at least one meal.

The staff at Reading Hospital is very kind. My plan is that once she passes, I'm going to spend 24 hrs alone in my apt grieving, and then go to my father's. I will announce her death to the forum, and be up in NY for several days. My aunt is supposed to come Wed/Thur if my mom doesnt die tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers. I know that when the end does come, I will be able to lean on my friends.

Mitch

Please let me know if there's anything I can do. My heart is with you Mitch.

I should also say that as horrible as this is, I'm relieved that shes home in Lancaster. If I get a call that shes dying, I can be there in 5 mins, as opposed to 45. I've never been in a room when someone died, but my hope is to be with her to hold her hand when the end does come. I've cried many tears over the past five days, and I know that even though I know the call is coming soon, I will be heartbroken when I'm told that my wonderful mother has passed away. She cant even speak, and gasps for breath, but she knows her Mitch. We still share loving moments, and even though she cant say my name any more, I know she will know I was there with her. Her passing may happen with her being in a coma first, or just falling assleep, and not waking up. The Drs cant seem to tell me yet.

Mitch

It's hard for the doctors to really know how anyone will go but there are signs and symptoms that kind of come with the territory when one's body is shutting down. I remember learning all about them but I never wanted to believe them. You hang in there the best you can and do what you can to ensure your mother's comfort. It'll help when you look back knowing you did all you could - and you have.

One other crazy thing is how the situation can change from one minute to the next.

Early today. one of the nurses at the hospital told me that my mom has a very weak sounding heart, and heart rate. Additionally, they pointed out how she is gasping for breath, taking a long time between each breath. I'm thinking at that point. "OMG, it's over". Then.. right before she got in the ambulance to come from Reading to Lancaster, another nurse, and the EMT's who brought her here, listened to her, and told me "She has a good, strong sounding heart".

One nurse last night did tell me that my mom has one major sign of approaching death, very cold hands and feet. I never knew that before.

It's difficult enough going through this, without getting the different nursing opinions. Sigh! I guess people can have different reads on things.

Mitch

The cold hands and feet are a sign of the slower circulation in her body. You're doing a great job taking care of her Mitch. You should know that.

The end is coming. I got a call this morning that she was dying., I'm staying at the home until she passes. A day, two, max, they said. Her skin is getting cold.

The next time I will be home is likely when she passes, for 24 hrs, before going to NY for the funeral. I hope it happens quickly. Watching her suffer is heartbreaking.

Mitch

God Bless Mitch. My heart and prayers are with you and your mother.