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The Alphabetical "I Don't Have Any" thread

I don't have any xerox machines to make a xerox copy of my ass or other naughty, x-rated body parts :porn:
 
I don't have any electric eels swimming in my next door neighbor's pool 😀
 
I don't have any ghosts in my house giving me the willies...or the tickles, which would be better xD
 
I Don't Have Any.........................

horses grazing outside of my house.
 
I don't have any icicles dangling off the edge of my roof yet, but it will eventually happen.
 
I don't have any opinions on how best to celebrate Christmas this year. All I know right now is that I won't be able to afford gifts this year 🙁
 
I don't have any randy, raunchy radical Russian women to bow down to my every sexual desire....even though I do wish for such lol
 
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