Virgin?

[TTT for joy]

Been a virgin till thirty: it was pretty rough, because I was feeling lonely and depressed. I didn't care as much for sex as for not having a significant other. Fortunately I met my girlfriend about a year ago and things went smoothly since.

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

I'm still a virgin at 33 and I gave up on sexual relationships years ago and I'm now oddly comfortable being alone, loneliness can be a major problem but it doesn't bother me like it used to. Perhaps the older you get the less likely you are to give a fuck, I don't really see the point of having sex at this point.

Virginity causes people distress in part because the harsh judgement and flat out hostility others can have towards you for being celibate and childless. There's no point in caring what other people think since you're the one who has to live your life and no one else but you gets a say in it. Not everything is for everyone.

Glad to see I'm not alone. Truth be told I feel that I am too far gone and that all these attempts to meet someone are just futile attempts. I said if I was a virgin by age 30 I was going to hang myself but that didn't happen due to reasons but if I'm still a virgin by 40 then yeah.

 

[Ita24]

I'm a virgin at 26 years old. Not really by choice, just circumstance. I wasted my prime experimenting years(18-24) being reserved and wasting my time with people who brought me down and killed my social life. Now I'm stuck in a routine where I have my main friend group and that's about it. I don't live a life where I'm constantly meeting new people, so my dating life has been empty. I'd love to meet someone, but I'm going to have to put myself out there more to have a chance at that.

 

[iwanttobetied]

I really like this thread and I was having a discussion about this a few weeks ago. I feel that people put too much pressure on losing their virginity. It always frustrates me that others think something is wrong with you if you don't lose your virginity by a certain age.

It's like why does it even matter to people whether or not someone is a virgin? I'm the kind of person that would tell a person not to mention they were a virgin until after they lost it.

As a woman, it's said that you can tell when she's not a virgin if her hymen is broken. This may be TMI, but in my case, I'm a 27F virgin, but my hymen actually stretches. So I've inserted large toys and do crazy stuff with myself worthy of a video on pornhub, and my hymen is still in intact. So if I said I wasn't a virgin, would they actually believe it?

I feel that people's biggest issue about having sex with a virgin is because they don't want to be a "teacher" and have to instruct someone on how to do things that "they should have already learned in high school". Basically, they want someone already experienced...

The second issue I see come up is that they some people feel that virgins would become too attached and clingy after having sex the first time, and they don't want to deal with it.

Great topic! 🙂

 

[duderino84]

I think there's definitely a disparity for people here at least between people that enjoy tickling and people that enjoy sex. I've been in enough positions to try both and I know I excel in the former over the latter but I just favor what I favor and people are pretty cool about it, generally. Still really haven't landed a BS-free relationship (or really something solid in a while) but I'm convinced it's a case of wrong location. Certain states/ towns fuel a certain amount of action and not living somewhere warm definitely limits the amount of opportunities. Anyways that's my analysis.

 

[Tenebrae]

I think there's definitely a disparity for people here at least between people that enjoy tickling and people that enjoy sex. I've been in enough positions to try both and I know I excel in the former over the latter but I just favor what I favor and people are pretty cool about it, generally. Still really haven't landed a BS-free relationship (or really something solid in a while) but I'm convinced it's a case of wrong location. Certain states/ towns fuel a certain amount of action and not living somewhere warm definitely limits the amount of opportunities. Anyways that's my analysis.

I am not sure I follow. Isn't it possible to enjoy both? I'm pretty sure that I enjoy sex at least as much as tickling. The two often mix in practice, actually. However, my mental universe and personal fantasies are like 99% tickling and torture.

As for the BS-free relationships (lol 😛), I would like to know: what does climate have to do with anything? I don't quite get the correlation here. Unless I understood you wrong, do you mean that people who live under warmer temperatures have better-quality relationships?

 

[ichbins]

Glad to see I'm not alone. Truth be told I feel that I am too far gone and that all these attempts to meet someone are just futile attempts. I said if I was a virgin by age 30 I was going to hang myself but that didn't happen due to reasons but if I'm still a virgin by 40 then yeah.

I'm not sure how serious you mean that, but since you're posting it here, probably very. I just want to tell you, that even though it's hard to understand your situation, when you're not in it, please don't end your life because of something like this. It's a scratch that needs fixing, first of all, for sex, then it's of course the loneliness of not having someone who cares. But if you end your life because of this, I always feel like then the people who don't understand or who are hostile towards people being different and living unconventional - yes, sometimes sadder - lives win. I mean then it's just them, these people who don't understand deep sadness or loneliness, feelings probably you are feeling, and their lives are probably shit too, you know. They live without knowing a big part of life, and that's these deep feelings of sadness etc. And I think you shouldn't give away your place in life for another one who has no clue or who can't process that life is not happygolucky for anyone. We need different people living different lives and should always try to better ourselves and with that the world around us. Maybe you can work towards a world where people like you are more successful when it comes to relationships, maybe life in general? But don't just escape and leave the field, because then people will not know that there are these harder lives, with harder fates being dealt to them. And that's a loss, it's always a loss!

I hope you change your mind, because this is really you deciding if you want to do that. Life has so many other nice and beautiful things besides women and special others. It's one part that would be nice, but then again, no one has the whole cake in life, and maybe one has to get used to this.

Stay hopeful if you can, and try to live on. It would be a real shame if you wouldn't. Even in this forum your point of view has been totally different and probably enlightened many, who didn't know people like you exist and how you think etc. can have a big influence on people in real life too.

Hope this doesn't sound too corny but really I feel sad reading things like that, and I think you belong to a group of people who are constantly being labelled as madmen etc. and it's unfair, in my opinion. But that's why there's a big need for people like you.

 

[duderino84]

I am not sure I follow. Isn't it possible to enjoy both? I'm pretty sure that I enjoy sex at least as much as tickling. The two often mix in practice, actually. However, my mental universe and personal fantasies are like 99% tickling and torture.

Well for starters they're two different positions. I used to (trying not to anymore) match up with full figured partners (I'm trying to be more health conscious). In all honesty, I just felt uncomfortable when I tried, had partners that didn't really want to help, so after a while I just said fuck it, I'm into what I'm into and I didn't find a comfort zone so I just moved forward for now.

As for the BS-free relationships (lol 😛), I would like to know: what does climate have to do with anything? I don't quite get the correlation here. Unless I understood you wrong, do you mean that people who live under warmer temperatures have better-quality relationships?

There's serious BS and mild BS. I feel like I've taken the serious ends.
Climate: do you think people are more inclined to have sex in bikini weather or snowsuit (I'm being purposefully extreme here) weather? I think the former. Also if I moved somewhere where it's always hot, in my head I can imagine sweating off weight issues compared to being in the gym almost every night fighting with the matter. After living 30+ years of the same town with the same shit with the same purposelessly single people in my surroundings, I'm just thinking I've done most of what I can do on my own unless I make drastic changes. I'm on an almost (mostly) 5 year draught and things aren't improving from a strictly mathematical perspective. So my goal is leaving my area. Either to a different town to start off (even tho we usually get what seems like 6 months of colder weather, wherever it aligns on the calendar) or a completely different state.

 

[chicago]

Well for starters they're two different positions. I used to (trying not to anymore) match up with full figured partners (I'm trying to be more health conscious). In all honesty, I just felt uncomfortable when I tried, had partners that didn't really want to help, so after a while I just said fuck it, I'm into what I'm into and I didn't find a comfort zone so I just moved forward for now.



There's serious BS and mild BS. I feel like I've taken the serious ends.
Climate: do you think people are more inclined to have sex in bikini weather or snowsuit (I'm being purposefully extreme here) weather? I think the former. Also if I moved somewhere where it's always hot, in my head I can imagine sweating off weight issues compared to being in the gym almost every night fighting with the matter. After living 30+ years of the same town with the same shit with the same purposelessly single people in my surroundings, I'm just thinking I've done most of what I can do on my own unless I make drastic changes. I'm on an almost (mostly) 5 year draught and things aren't improving from a strictly mathematical perspective. So my goal is leaving my area. Either to a different town to start off (even tho we usually get what seems like 6 months of colder weather, wherever it aligns on the calendar) or a completely different state.

That's interesting considering how many babies are born in September. Not much to do but fuck when you're snowed in.

 

[duderino84]

That's interesting considering how many babies are born in September. Not much to do but fuck when you're snowed in.

Babies are born all the time tho, that's why we have invented problems like overpopulation. I think people close up in colder weather. It's a less romantic concept but it's possible.

 

[chicago]

Babies are born all the time tho, that's why we have invented problems like overpopulation. I think people close up in colder weather. It's a less romantic concept but it's possible.

Is it based on anything besides your gut? It's a fact that the most babies are born in September, but yes people fuck at all times of the year. However, one could say that because more babies are born in September, perhaps more people are having sex 9 months prior, which would be cold months for most.

Do you have anything to support your concept?

 

[duderino84]

Life experience? Not really interested in your brand of semantics. But have a nice day.

 

[chicago]

Life experience? Not really interested in your brand of semantics. But have a nice day.

Not trying to argue semantics. Was trying to see if anything supported your claim besides your personal experience(s). Since there isn't, will have to take with a grain of salt.

Thank you, you as well.

 

[duderino84]

Not trying to argue semantics. Was trying to see if anything supported your claim besides your personal experience(s). Since there isn't, will have to take with a grain of salt.

Thank you, you as well.

Nothing personal just given our posting histories I don't believe that for a second.

 

[chicago]

Nothing personal just given our posting histories I don't believe that for a second.

Fair enough.

 

[ManInDistress]

Glad to see I'm not alone. Truth be told I feel that I am too far gone and that all these attempts to meet someone are just futile attempts. I said if I was a virgin by age 30 I was going to hang myself but that didn't happen due to reasons but if I'm still a virgin by 40 then yeah.

I told myself the same thing but then I turned thirty and where I have or have not stuck my dick became less important. If you're still a virgin by forty you'll likely become accustom to being alone and hopefully not view it as all that pernicious to your well being.

If you become angered or frustrated by being a reject then I suggest continuing to live as a fuck you to the world if nothing else. I'm no longer thinking of killing myself because no one cares about me the way I'd prefer, the acceptance of others is highly over rated.

 

[Tenebrae]

Well for starters they're two different positions. I used to (trying not to anymore) match up with full figured partners (I'm trying to be more health conscious). In all honesty, I just felt uncomfortable when I tried, had partners that didn't really want to help, so after a while I just said fuck it, I'm into what I'm into and I didn't find a comfort zone so I just moved forward for now.



There's serious BS and mild BS. I feel like I've taken the serious ends.
Climate: do you think people are more inclined to have sex in bikini weather or snowsuit (I'm being purposefully extreme here) weather? I think the former. Also if I moved somewhere where it's always hot, in my head I can imagine sweating off weight issues compared to being in the gym almost every night fighting with the matter. After living 30+ years of the same town with the same shit with the same purposelessly single people in my surroundings, I'm just thinking I've done most of what I can do on my own unless I make drastic changes. I'm on an almost (mostly) 5 year draught and things aren't improving from a strictly mathematical perspective. So my goal is leaving my area. Either to a different town to start off (even tho we usually get what seems like 6 months of colder weather, wherever it aligns on the calendar) or a completely different state.

Thank you for your answer

As far as sex is concerned, once again if I read you correctly, you don't enjoy it and you used to force yourself? Now I wonder how many of us feel this way. I don't at all, for one; not only do I enjoy sex, I actually love it. Then again, for me it is not a "sex vs tickling" mindset, it is more of a "sex+tickling", or to a certain respect "tickling IS sex". Tickling is such a turn-on for me that when we (I'm married) play, it always ends up in passionate lovemaking. Or conversely, tickling can often be a preliminary to sex. Granted, the two do not completely overlap, they are certainly two distinct activities, the strong link between them notwithstanding. It's exemplified perfectly in AnnieHall's story This Feeling in my Bones, published by MTJ in TFTA #31. The description of the massive turn on tickling represents is spot-on therein, and it is told from the woman's point of view, nonetheless.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, doesn't tickling arouse you? I think it is a sexual thing for most of us, so this must more or less naturally lead to sex, don't you think? That's how I feel there is no opposition between the two. I'd be very curious to hear other opinions on the matter, however.

As for the climate, I find it funny that you'd think warmer temperatures could lead to more sex and weight loss. Have you ever been to Miami or Mexico? It's full of fat fucks there and yet the weather's scorching hot lol 😛 As someone who was conceived during a snowstorm in the Alpes mountains, I cannot disagree with Chicago on the September thing (I was born in October), but it is true that I've noticed that nations that sit in warmer regions tend to breed slightly more promiscuous people. Just like you, though, it's spoken from personal experience, I have no data at hand to confirm this.

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

I'm not sure how serious you mean that, but since you're posting it here, probably very. I just want to tell you, that even though it's hard to understand your situation, when you're not in it, please don't end your life because of something like this. It's a scratch that needs fixing, first of all, for sex, then it's of course the loneliness of not having someone who cares. But if you end your life because of this, I always feel like then the people who don't understand or who are hostile towards people being different and living unconventional - yes, sometimes sadder - lives win. I mean then it's just them, these people who don't understand deep sadness or loneliness, feelings probably you are feeling, and their lives are probably shit too, you know. They live without knowing a big part of life, and that's these deep feelings of sadness etc. And I think you shouldn't give away your place in life for another one who has no clue or who can't process that life is not happygolucky for anyone. We need different people living different lives and should always try to better ourselves and with that the world around us. Maybe you can work towards a world where people like you are more successful when it comes to relationships, maybe life in general? But don't just escape and leave the field, because then people will not know that there are these harder lives, with harder fates being dealt to them. And that's a loss, it's always a loss!

I hope you change your mind, because this is really you deciding if you want to do that. Life has so many other nice and beautiful things besides women and special others. It's one part that would be nice, but then again, no one has the whole cake in life, and maybe one has to get used to this.

Stay hopeful if you can, and try to live on. It would be a real shame if you wouldn't. Even in this forum your point of view has been totally different and probably enlightened many, who didn't know people like you exist and how you think etc. can have a big influence on people in real life too.

Hope this doesn't sound too corny but really I feel sad reading things like that, and I think you belong to a group of people who are constantly being labelled as madmen etc. and it's unfair, in my opinion. But that's why there's a big need for people like you.

I appreciate the kind words. I’m 32 right now so I’m got time to make changes it’s just difficult for me due to the severe lack of self esteem and the AVPD...I’m very complex apparently.

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

I told myself the same thing but then I turned thirty and where I have or have not stuck my dick became less important. If you're still a virgin by forty you'll likely become accustom to being alone and hopefully not view it as all that pernicious to your well being.

If you become angered or frustrated by being a reject then I suggest continuing to live as a fuck you to the world if nothing else. I'm no longer thinking of killing myself because no one cares about me the way I'd prefer, the acceptance of others is highly over rated.

Truth be told, the only reason I haven’t is because of my family. I couldn’t imagine making my mother, father and brother have to bury my worthless corpse or deal with the pain of it so I just trudge along. I’m looking for a therapist because my last one wasn’t good at all, very nice but very pseudoscience.

 

[duderino84]

Thank you for your answer

As far as sex is concerned, once again if I read you correctly, you don't enjoy it and you used to force yourself? Now I wonder how many of us feel this way. I don't at all, for one; not only do I enjoy sex, I actually love it. Then again, for me it is not a "sex vs tickling" mindset, it is more of a "sex+tickling", or to a certain respect "tickling IS sex". Tickling is such a turn-on for me that when we (I'm married) play, it always ends up in passionate lovemaking. Or conversely, tickling can often be a preliminary to sex. Granted, the two do not completely overlap, they are certainly two distinct activities, the strong link between them notwithstanding. It's exemplified perfectly in AnnieHall's story This Feeling in my Bones, published by MTJ in TFTA #31. The description of the massive turn on tickling represents is spot-on therein, and it is told from the woman's point of view, nonetheless.

Not really what I said. I said uncomfortable. Specifically, when my first time came around, I never mounted anyone before, so I slipped out plenty. I didn't have girlfriends that wanted to take any initiative, so it was a one- sided bag. So I evaluated what I liked (driving women to hysterics with laughter) and went with alternatives. I didn't really go for being untraditional from the start; who wants to be weird like that? But that's how things have been.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, doesn't tickling arouse you? I think it is a sexual thing for most of us, so this must more or less naturally lead to sex, don't you think? That's how I feel there is no opposition between the two. I'd be very curious to hear other opinions on the matter, however.

Hell ya tickling turns me on, that's why I kept doing it. I just didn't grow up in a sex focused environment; the time I came to realize what I was into sex was being promoted to me as something out of a Bang Bus video. That was unappealing to me at that age.

As for the climate, I find it funny that you'd think warmer temperatures could lead to more sex and weight loss. Have you ever been to Miami or Mexico? It's full of fat fucks there and yet the weather's scorching hot lol 😛 As someone who was conceived during a snowstorm in the Alpes mountains, I cannot disagree with Chicago on the September thing (I was born in October), but it is true that I've noticed that nations that sit in warmer regions tend to breed slightly more promiscuous people. Just like you, though, it's spoken from personal experience, I have no data at hand to confirm this.

Yes and you know what Miami and Mexico are? Vacation destinations. So fat fucks (your wording) come from all over to get that sun and more exposure to skin all the time, which means my perspective can't be too rare. I'm sure there's residents that are fat but in a different climate you'll be fighting the weather to essentially be the same (abusive diet, overuse of AC, etc.).

I really just want to be some place less caucasian as well. Every woman in my region seems to be trying to look alike. And I'm sure you'll recognize in that dynamic there's those that can and can't pull that off.

My main disagreement with Chicago is based on her logic you should bump into someone and get pregnant. There's no consideration for relationships or what times are better than others to try to conceive (if that were even my concern). I'm not going to research a bunch of bullshit articles to see if there's statistics because if what she is saying is accurate, anyone born out of September is an anomaly.

I really don't want to turn this thread in to a shit show unless it's absolutely essential to the discussion. And from what I can see this is a discussion on opinion and feeling, not fact checking.

 

[tklfeather10]

Back in the stone age ( pre 60's) it was "the done thing to remain a virgin until marriage" but this idea rapidly fell apart in times of war and come the 60's things changed.

It can be argued that there is much virtue in remaining a virgin one of the downsides is often found after marriage when people discover they are not sexually suited while sex is only a small part of marriage its an important one and can lead to problems.

In these more enlightened times people often have a sex before living together or marriage so the problems are ironed out.

Also back in the stone age a lot of guys had bad attitudes and lack of respect towards females, expecting to plow the field and yet marry a virgin, some guys would pester and seduce women and after they had their way would then refer to the female in question as being loose on morals.

No need to rush into not being a virgin but make sure you respect each other and treat each other correctly.Common sense is the key thing here

 

[MeatyBreastedDullness]

Online dating has really skewed things to be honest.

 

[duderino84]

Ad hominem? Unappreciated, Mr. Duderino...

The royal "you".... not specifically "you", dude!

I feel generally if you're stopping anyone for any reason, most treat you like an obstruction.

And in return, to quote from Ronald Harwood's 1980 play 'The Dresser',

'You'd be lovely with a little success'.

True.... lately my success is attracting the ire of boyfriends that don't know their significant others are playing themselves off as single to me.

Maybe I'll bounce back to my FWB...

 

[Libertine]

If I was mistaken, my apologies.

 

[duderino84]

No worries.