I think I am being sexually harassed at work? Mostly looking for advice from guys.

[CrystalLight]

There's always someone higher up than your boss. If you can find a way to document that you have engaged with your boss to no avail, then I would consider going through the Corporate end of your job.

Undesired touch is not cool. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

Check the contents of your scrotum. If somehow there's anything there, given your complaining, take her home and fuck her.

Really Libertine? If a guy isn't interested in the advances and molestation by a female co-worker, he needs to check the contents of his scrotum?

 

[Cosmo_ac]

That doesn't excuse her doing it to him. The only thing worse than an abuser is an abuser who uses their own abuse as an excuse. By the way nobody will take is seriously when they see it happening to him. Especially other women, expect allot of "oh poor baby. " or "Dont be such a whinner." when you file your complaint. Stick to your guns, and go to the media if you have to.

Hey, don't misunderstand. I'm on his side, which is why I told him to record the incidents, make it known to others including the girl, and to complain to the HR department. these are all things he had to do to show sexual harassment in the work place. Having a journal (noting the time and others present when it happened) is important to back up your claim.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

I'm honestly appalled at some of the responses on this thread: "Enjoy it!", "Fuck her already!", "Quit being a wuss", and so on.

Being touched without consent is not cool. A manager that brushes off the complaint is helping no one. For every major company in America, there is a sexual harassment policy. Find the people you need to take your issue to and make them aware.

And for the people that are generally saying it's ok for a woman to molest a guy that doesn't want it, you should be ashamed. It's bad enough that so many cases of harassment or rape go unreported by women, but hardly any case of a male being taken advantage of gets reported because of bullshit comments like what I've read on this thread.

 

[mabus]

People are responding with "Enjoy it!" etc., because it almost sounds like a fake post. This is most guy's that frequent the forum's DREAM come true times TEN.

A beautiful new female coworker who loves to tickle them all the time, AND the other workers AND the manager don't even have a problem with it!!!

It sounds playful, the way he describes it, which it probably is. This isn't "Suck my dick or get fired," this is a cute girl flirting with him, ironically in the way that turns on most
tickle lovers.

...I hope this isn't some troll bait, an excuse to turn him on by seeing everyone's reactions, ....I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

First off, "getting a lawyer" may be an over the top extreme response to an innocent situation in today's sadly HYPER-SENSITIVE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD AHHH!!!!!!! world.

I see a potential fired and crying girl who doesn't know what the hell's going on, and a lot of annoyed and angry co-workers.

If it is happening, and it does bother you that much, you may just have to go get another job. I've worked some retail, and I can't imagine the job being so awesome
that you'd fight for it, since most retail SUCK. The only way retail would be tolerable for me ever again is......I can't say it.
Okay, if I had a cute co-worker who loved to tickle me, and I'd of course start a relationship with her, shit, I've had, like no people flirt with me in retail! I'd LOVE that job!

Let me tell you where I'm coming from - I recently quit a long time job, where new management took over and were bullying assholes. One co-worker/manager was really getting
out of hand, screaming at lesser co-workers when given a little bit of power, on a massive ego trip, being a worthless evil piece of shit, throwing everyone else under the bus if
she thought she may get in trouble.....someone who you look at say, "Yeah, that bitch is going to Hell." The bullying from all of management was out of hand, PLUS! they kept files on
all of us, and added so many new rules, of course you'd break one. This was for when someone decided to speak up and defend themselves, get a lawyer, whatever, ...they'd yank them
out and throw it back in our face, "Oh, you did this, you did that, you're a criminal piece of shit...." They'd throw rapid fire accusations at you, so when you're trying to rebuke one lie,
you're hit with three more. The old ladies I worked with were literally too terrified to even defend themselves. Eventually my time came with the bitch, one of many, when she came up to me
literally yelling at me about a job I was supposed to do and she had no business even talking to me about, BUT I FOUGHT BACK, because fuck that bitch and the rest.
There was a work place clique, the older workers weren't in it, the assholes all were.

Of course I lost.

I quit before they'd make my life more hellish than it already was and fire me on a mountain of lies like they did three of my former co-workers who got unfairly sacked.
One did sue, after being fired AFTER filing a formal complaint, and before I quit myself, she hasn't won yet, and I saw no change whatsoever in that store.

Basically, it's a hell of a lot harder to sue than it seems. And if everyone in the store will speak against you in the pretty girl's favor, it's going to be that much harder.

You may have to do what me and my other bullied co-workers had to do, just suck it up, say life isn't fair, and move on.

But seriously, after what I've been through, I'd climb Mount Everest 14 times to be in this guy's situation.....

 

[Wolf]

I have a feeling she knows I have this fetish, but I don't know how, maybe someone told her or she came across my Tumblr or something. But regardless of me having the fetish and her being attractive, I hate being touched at all by people I don't know very well.

For all of you in the "OMG Dude You're so lucky!" camp, this is why he's not diggin' it. She might know about his fetish, and might be doing it to screw with him just because she can. This has less to do with flirting and more to do with him feeling uncomfortable. If he's trolling, he's doing it very well, because this is a great example of how sexual harassment isn't just about the activity (or the envy boners it may create in some posters), it's about the power dynamic.

 

[CrystalLight]

(or the envy boners it may create in some posters)

Bam.

Always nice to see you, darlin'. 😀

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Color me old school, but this is the kind of thing that's not supposed to bother heterosexual guys. And if for some strange, unforeseeable reason it does, there are so many quick and easy ways to deal with it. Ways that don't involve tattling to the management like a child in a school playground.

My best advice to you is to deal with this yourself. Personally, I think you have bigger issues to deal with than sexual harassment at the workplace. Ask yourself, why does this bother me? Why is being touched and tickled by an attractive woman making me uncomfortable? Resolve THOSE issues, and your issue with "harassment" will vanish.

And not to be candid, but you know a thread like this has jumped the shark when somebody willy nilly tosses out a phrase like "power dynamic."

 

[Wolf]

Bam.

Always nice to see you, darlin'. 😀

Aw, shucks. Right back atcha.

 

[CaptainValiant]

hey Dailon, I have similar aversions to human interaction. And I work in retail as well! Try taking this as a personal challenge of overcoming the fear of being touched by strangers. When I first started my job, if a coworker tried to talk to me I would be VERY curt and walk away. I still want to sometimes depending on the mood I wake up with, but I've gotten better at opening up with people. Next time she puts her hands on you, breath in and out through your nostrils and think about how it's making you feel. Acknowledge the nervousness. Your brain always goes into fight or flight mode. Fuck those options. Tell yourself in your head "STAY!" Ask her "don't you ever do any work around here?"

Hope this assists you.

 

[Jondude]

Wow. Just fucking wow, dudes... A guy is looking for some legitimate help, about a REAL problem, and your responses are "Grow a pair" or "Fuck her"? It's times like these that make me ashamed to have a dick.

And you know, if it were all of YOU saying these things in this kind of situation? Go ahead and take your own advice. See what happens... Watch as a girl like that absolutely LAUGHS in your face and you walk away in shame, and that's assuming she's not so much of a bitch that she goes and has YOU reported. Then you'll continue to be alone, rejected AND without a job. You're only saying these things because you're actually really jealous and don't understand that what you think you'd do and what would actually happen and how you'd really feel are two COMPLETELY different things.

The fact is, you think that because he's looking for advice to deal with her instead of just "sitting there and taking it", that it makes him less of a man. But really, it takes big balls to stand up to bullying, oppression and adversity. It takes a real man to want to find a way to resolve issues without making things worse for everyone, including themselves.


So, for the OP, take everyone ELSE'S advice, and document your complaints, and since your manager refuses to take your claims seriously? Go to THEIR boss, and tell them what's going on and how your boss is ignoring your addressing of the issue. And if it keeps happening? Then legal action may be necessary, possibly filing of a restraining order.

 

[SlaverTickler]

The attitude some of the people are showing on this thread is exactly why abused men don't come forward. They are told their is something wrong with them, or that this is just the way it is. Can you imagine, in this day and age, anybody telling a woman this shit. Guy get hit by their wives, sexually harassed (or in this case sexually assaulted because it is unwanted touching) and he is told to "man up". Well "man-up" means standing your ground and not taking shit from anybody male or female. Harassment laws were originally brought in for women, but they are their to protect everybody. So stand your ground and follow Jondudes advice.

ST

 

[Dialon]

There are quite a few responses, and I am too lazy to respond to all or even most of them individually.

As a response to the people saying I should enjoy or not make a big deal about it, I definitely understand your point of view. However, imagine if instead of me being groped by this girl, it was me groping her. Imagine that this made her uncomfortable, would you understand why this would make her uncomfortable? Imagine that she also took the steps I did and went to management, do you think the manager would have just brushed off her complaint? Now imagine if she had some kind of fetish, let's go with a spanking fetish, and one of the ways I would grope her is with spanking. Should she just enjoy it because it is something she has a fetish for? Of course not, and you understand why I am sure.

The reason I do not like this and it makes me really uncomfortable is because I hate being touched by people I don't know, or don't know well. I like my personal space. If she was doing this and stopped when I asked her to stop, then there would be no issue. But I asked her several times and she did not stop at all.

But anyways, thanks for all of the helpful advice. The most useful advice was writing and recording down the incidents; I started doing this and told her I was to show her how serious I was about this. I think this has worked so far, haven't really been groped in the last two days while working with her. Hopefully this is a sign that she stops all together.

 

[SlaverTickler]

There are quite a few responses, and I am too lazy to respond to all or even most of them individually.

As a response to the people saying I should enjoy or not make a big deal about it, I definitely understand your point of view. However, imagine if instead of me being groped by this girl, it was me groping her. Imagine that this made her uncomfortable, would you understand why this would make her uncomfortable? Imagine that she also took the steps I did and went to management, do you think the manager would have just brushed off her complaint? Now imagine if she had some kind of fetish, let's go with a spanking fetish, and one of the ways I would grope her is with spanking. Should she just enjoy it because it is something she has a fetish for? Of course not, and you understand why I am sure.

The reason I do not like this and it makes me really uncomfortable is because I hate being touched by people I don't know, or don't know well. I like my personal space. If she was doing this and stopped when I asked her to stop, then there would be no issue. But I asked her several times and she did not stop at all.

But anyways, thanks for all of the helpful advice. The most useful advice was writing and recording down the incidents; I started doing this and told her I was to show her how serious I was about this. I think this has worked so far, haven't really been groped in the last two days while working with her. Hopefully this is a sign that she stops all together.

The problem is society is trained to see women as victims and men as perpetrators, but that isn't always the case. Anyone cane be a victim, or a perpetrator., and to assume other wise is sexual discrimination. You sir have been victimized twice. First by the women you work with, and now by several of your Forum brothers who have basically told you "if it's inevitable lay back and enjoy it." The same laws that protect women from this sort of conduct is supposed to protect men as well. I recently learned that women working at Home Land Security had sexual harassment complaints brought against them, as did a female executive at Archie Comics. Trust me, everybody here would be on the side of a Forum sister if this situation was reversed.

The women's movement was about acquiring rights they always should have had. The men's movement is about maintaining rights the radical feminists want to take away.

ST

 

[SlaverTickler]

Hey, don't misunderstand. I'm on his side, which is why I told him to record the incidents, make it known to others including the girl, and to complain to the HR department. these are all things he had to do to show sexual harassment in the work place. Having a journal (noting the time and others present when it happened) is important to back up your claim.

Sorry Cosmo, didn't mean to jump down your throat like that. You know how defensive I get with this stuff. I know who's side your on, I wish I could say I am surprised with some of the other replies I've read.

 

[SlaverTickler]

People are responding with "Enjoy it!" etc., because it almost sounds like a fake post. This is most guy's that frequent the forum's DREAM come true times TEN.

A beautiful new female coworker who loves to tickle them all the time, AND the other workers AND the manager don't even have a problem with it!!!

It sounds playful, the way he describes it, which it probably is. This isn't "Suck my dick or get fired," this is a cute girl flirting with him, ironically in the way that turns on most
tickle lovers.

...I hope this isn't some troll bait, an excuse to turn him on by seeing everyone's reactions, ....I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

First off, "getting a lawyer" may be an over the top extreme response to an innocent situation in today's sadly HYPER-SENSITIVE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD AHHH!!!!!!! world.

I see a potential fired and crying girl who doesn't know what the hell's going on, and a lot of annoyed and angry co-workers.

If it is happening, and it does bother you that much, you may just have to go get another job. I've worked some retail, and I can't imagine the job being so awesome
that you'd fight for it, since most retail SUCK. The only way retail would be tolerable for me ever again is......I can't say it.
Okay, if I had a cute co-worker who loved to tickle me, and I'd of course start a relationship with her, shit, I've had, like no people flirt with me in retail! I'd LOVE that job!

Let me tell you where I'm coming from - I recently quit a long time job, where new management took over and were bullying assholes. One co-worker/manager was really getting
out of hand, screaming at lesser co-workers when given a little bit of power, on a massive ego trip, being a worthless evil piece of shit, throwing everyone else under the bus if
she thought she may get in trouble.....someone who you look at say, "Yeah, that bitch is going to Hell." The bullying from all of management was out of hand, PLUS! they kept files on
all of us, and added so many new rules, of course you'd break one. This was for when someone decided to speak up and defend themselves, get a lawyer, whatever, ...they'd yank them
out and throw it back in our face, "Oh, you did this, you did that, you're a criminal piece of shit...." They'd throw rapid fire accusations at you, so when you're trying to rebuke one lie,
you're hit with three more. The old ladies I worked with were literally too terrified to even defend themselves. Eventually my time came with the bitch, one of many, when she came up to me
literally yelling at me about a job I was supposed to do and she had no business even talking to me about, BUT I FOUGHT BACK, because fuck that bitch and the rest.
There was a work place clique, the older workers weren't in it, the assholes all were.

Of course I lost.

I quit before they'd make my life more hellish than it already was and fire me on a mountain of lies like they did three of my former co-workers who got unfairly sacked.
One did sue, after being fired AFTER filing a formal complaint, and before I quit myself, she hasn't won yet, and I saw no change whatsoever in that store.

Basically, it's a hell of a lot harder to sue than it seems. And if everyone in the store will speak against you in the pretty girl's favor, it's going to be that much harder.

You may have to do what me and my other bullied co-workers had to do, just suck it up, say life isn't fair, and move on.

But seriously, after what I've been through, I'd climb Mount Everest 14 times to be in this guy's situation.....

So he should be a coward and run away like you did? Yeah that's sound advice. I sent him a pm telling him what to do.

 

[CrystalLight]

For the love of God, don't turn this into a freaking Feminist-Femnazi thread. That's so insanely irrelevant to OP's request for advice.

 

[CaptainValiant]

A note to the "Men's Rights" tardbabies: A man having his personal space violated by a woman is nowhere near as egregious as the other way around. Deal with it, suckas. Even the smallest, introverted, nerdy guy is a lethal weapon. He has BALLS and 50,000 years of blood lust synapsing in his brain. He has inside him blood of kings. There can be only one!

OP, you're at the crossroads of infinity in your mortal experience. Either take the issue to HR or finally sacrifice that pwecious personal space - and then boldly laugh at everything. I think we've tried to help you as much we can. Take care, man!

 

[Dussicar]

A note to the "Men's Rights" tardbabies: A man having his personal space violated by a woman is nowhere near as egregious as the other way around. Deal with it, suckas. Even the smallest, introverted, nerdy guy is a lethal weapon. He has BALLS and 50,000 years of blood lust synapsing in his brain. He has inside him blood of kings. There can be only one!

OP, you're at the crossroads of infinity in your mortal experience. Either take the issue to HR or finally sacrifice that pwecious personal space - and then boldly laugh at everything. I think we've tried to help you as much we can. Take care, man!

Exactly.


And if that dosen't work, kill her for the winter meat.

 

[SlaverTickler]

A note to the "Men's Rights" tardbabies: A man having his personal space violated by a woman is nowhere near as egregious as the other way around. Deal with it, suckas. Even the smallest, introverted, nerdy guy is a lethal weapon. He has BALLS and 50,000 years of blood lust synapsing in his brain. He has inside him blood of kings. There can be only one!

Spoken like a true Female Elitest. We are victims here us roar.

 

[SlaverTickler]

For the love of God, don't turn this into a freaking Feminist-Femnazi thread. That's so insanely irrelevant to OP's request for advice.

Is it? Considering how the reverse would be handled and how Women's Groups react when men's groups speak up I disagree.

 

[SlaverTickler]

One other thing I'd like to point out. This woman could one day be in a position real authority one day. How many guys is she going to harass then? Who husband, brother, or son will she be miss treating if that happens?

 

[mabus]

So he should be a coward and run away like you did? Yeah that's sound advice. I sent him a pm telling him what to do.

No, I actually STOOD UP to the bully when no one else would, but had no chance of winning.
In fantasy land where you and so many others live, when you stand up to the bully, they "get respect for you!"
In the real world, they hate you even more.

Since you're trolling everyone, I'll respond with reality:

You probably don't get out the house much.

On the internet, every wronged person is righted, every injustice fixed.

In the real world where the rest of us live, MANY times, the wronged don't win. The bully gets away with it. The shoplifter isn't caught. The dictator dies in peace.
The pedophile is never caught. The murderer gets away. The hit and run driver is never found. You are wronged, and no lawyer will take your case.
You think you'll get a million dollars for "pain and suffering," and the judge rewards you with nothing.
The asshole boss gets PROMOTED. (this happens ALL THE TIME)
The evil boss who committed a serious offense, is graciously allowed to retire, with full benefits, which is more than any lowly workers make. (I've personally seen this happen more than once.)

My advice was the correct advice - if he doesn't like the flirtatious atmosphere of the place, LEAVE. There are PLENTYYYYY of places where he'll never get touched, and the bosses
will treat him like worker drone number 87. He can work at Walmart, at Academy Sporting Goods, at Best Buy, at any number of cold, corporate establishments that treat the workers like robots.
No one will touch him and life will be dull and unsatisfying. There's no force on Earth from stopping him.

Why should everyone at his current work place stop having fun because ONE guy doesn't like it?

A note to the "Men's Rights" tardbabies: A man having his personal space violated by a woman is nowhere near as egregious as the other way around. Deal with it, suckas. Even the smallest, introverted, nerdy guy is a lethal weapon. He has BALLS and 50,000 years of blood lust synapsing in his brain. He has inside him blood of kings. There can be only one!

OP, you're at the crossroads of infinity in your mortal experience. Either take the issue to HR or finally sacrifice that pwecious personal space - and then boldly laugh at everything. I think we've tried to help you as much we can. Take care, man!

Good advice here.

 

[SlaverTickler]

No, I actually STOOD UP to the bully when no one else would, but had no chance of winning.
In fantasy land where you and so many others live, when you stand up to the bully, they "get respect for you!"
In the real world, they hate you even more.

Since you're trolling everyone, I'll respond with reality:

You probably don't get out the house much.

On the internet, every wronged person is righted, every injustice fixed.

In the real world where the rest of us live, MANY times, the wronged don't win. The bully gets away with it. The shoplifter isn't caught. The dictator dies in peace.
The pedophile is never caught. The murderer gets away. The hit and run driver is never found. You are wronged, and no lawyer will take your case.
You think you'll get a million dollars for "pain and suffering," and the judge rewards you with nothing.
The asshole boss gets PROMOTED. (this happens ALL THE TIME)
The evil boss who committed a serious offense, is graciously allowed to retire, with full benefits, which is more than any lowly workers make. (I've personally seen this happen more than once.)

My advice was the correct advice - if he doesn't like the flirtatious atmosphere of the place, LEAVE. There are PLENTYYYYY of places where he'll never get touched, and the bosses
will treat him like worker drone number 87. He can work at Walmart, at Academy Sporting Goods, at Best Buy, at any number of cold, corporate establishments that treat the workers like robots.
No one will touch him and life will be dull and unsatisfying. There's no force on Earth from stopping him.

Why should everyone at his current work place stop having fun because ONE guy doesn't like it?

So what does he do if it happens at the next job? Run away again? And who's saying the other people can't still have their fun, he wants to be left alone and she should respect his wishes.

 

[Libertine]

So what does he do if it happens at the next job? Run away again? And who's saying the other people can't still have their fun, he wants to be left alone and she should respect his wishes.

If that's the case he should choose a field other than retail.