"Interview the Person Above You" V-2.0

[slacker2114]

What do you say to people who say they think you're a good-looking guy?



Head down the hallway and it's the 2nd door on your left.

 

[DJ Tickler]

Which way to your sister's room?

Yes that is a rocket in my pocket

DJ Tickler

 

[McNoodle]

I can make out a pencil protector and a calculator... and is that what I think it is?

The librarian finally asked the mime to quiet down.

 

[DJ Tickler]

Do you remember that prudish librarian we use to have? Do you remember what she did to set the bar for every other librarian out there?

Yes it does feel good

DJ Tickler

 

[McNoodle]

Does spanking a Beluga whale's bum bring you pleasure???

They reattached my neck behind my left knee.

 

[DJ Tickler]

Why do you walk funny, look funny and always look up women's skirts??

The sunflower smells like sunflowers

DJ Tickler

 

[slacker2114]

Can you give an example of why they call you Captain Obvious?



Use two parts napalm, one part lemon juice, add a bit of love and there you have it.

 

[McNoodle]

What is your secret recipe for instant insect repellant?

thank heavens the bubblebath saved me.

 

[DJ Tickler]

How ever did you save yourself from the wicked witch of the west tickling you to death?

Pie solves everything

DJ Tickler

 

[slacker2114]

What's your explanation for solving the question of life, the universe and everything?



If the windshield would have been clean, he would have made it to the barbecue on time.

 

[DJ Tickler]

“I don’t understand? Your husband is dead…he ran into a tree…why are you angry at him?”

Ding Dong

DJ Tickler

 

[slacker2114]

As King Kong's younger brother, what do they call you?



Stopping for that red light was the worst decision I've ever made.

 

[milagros317]

How did your car get spray painted like that?

There were two angry people in the room.

 

[DJ Tickler]

You are 20 minutes late...I have given you plenty of opportunities and I told you if you are late one more time you are fired. WELL...WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF...?

Oh I wish, I wish I hadn’t killed that fish

DJ Tickler

 

[slacker2114]

What were your thoughts after you had relations with that marlin?



If the button had been pushed, the midgets would have stayed home.

 

[DJ Tickler]

So how did all those killer midgets get out??

Round and round the merry go bush

DJ Tickler

 

[baldadonis]

Where did Dick Cheney go in 2000?

Because sheep do not belong in the cockpit.

 

[slacker2114]

How did drew70 get kicked off the flight?



It's all about the timing.

 

[baldadonis]

How did you get your mother to forgive you for accidentally cremating her live cat?

Its just too big and swollen to fit.

 

[slacker2114]

How come you've given up on relations with your vaccum cleaner?



Frank Zappa said it, so it must be true.

 

[baldadonis]

Why would you ever say you were going to name your child Moon Unit?

Because if I don't act now, it'll be too late.

 

[slacker2114]

Why are you calling a 900 sex line in the middle of the interview?



Send her my way and I'll teach her how to shoot pool.

 

[baldadonis]

Minnesota Fats, what should do I with Tina on our date?

3 sea otters and a whole mess of kelp.

 

[wanderingpixie2112]

So, what did you catch on your last fishing trip?



The melted banana icecream was the culprit, I swear!

 

[baldadonis]

What's that white stain on your bedsheets?

The entire state of Texas.