"Interview the Person Above You" V-2.0

[baldadonis]

How many times have you been arrested for tickling a police officer?

Only on Sundays after all the football is over.

 

[Dave2112]

Hey Dave...do you ever still break out that old cheerleading uniform?



I'd have to say it was either time travel or the mashed potatoes.

 

[slacker2114]

What two things do you think will help you overcome your impotency?


I swear if I could do it all over again, I would have shipped her to her Aunt Petunia's place.

 

[Dave2112]

Didn't "Uncle" Porky come to stay with you after the ill-timed sex-change?



It's easy. Light the fuse, run away and hide the carrots.

 

[baldadonis]

Wow, you turned your pet rabbit into a firework. How does it work?

Its simple, two cups of flours, three packets of ketchup, 2 shots of vodka, and a lot of bad judgment.

 

[slacker2114]

What's your recipe for poutine?


I ran as fast as I could, but I still could not escape the pull of gravity.

 

[Dave2112]

Why were you so attached to Rush Limbaugh all day?


I don't know, it's lodged in there real good and the arc welder didn't help at all.

 

[slacker2114]

How did you get your penis stuck in the vaccum cleaner hose?


I was never so scared as when they announced the new tv line-up.

 

[baldadonis]

What did you think when you heard that Rosie O'Donnell was going to co-host a game show with Andy Dick on two hours a night, five nights a week?

It turned the potato green.

 

[slacker2114]

What happened when you rubbed the tuber under your arm?



She said she had ridden a horse before.

 

[baldadonis]

Why did that virgin think she was ready to have sex with you?

I never leave home without it.

 

[slacker2114]

What do you do with your nude picture of Ernest Borgnine?



After falling down the steps, I went out to the car for a tire iron.

 

[Dave2112]

How'd that fight with Arnold Shwartzenegger go?



I think I killed it.

 

[slacker2114]

So whatever happened to that walrus you were so keen on getting?



There I was...strapped to the chair in the room where Black Bart had placed the bomb.

 

[baldadonis]

Whats the worst situation you faced that was still better than your marriage?

Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, pause, jump, duck, shimmy, repeat.

 

[McNoodle]

Please describe those dance moves you used last night while doing the YMCA.

Flipper went postal and capsized the boat.

 

[slacker2114]

What did the dolphin do when you stuck your thumb in it's butt?



What can I say, I like to leave them wanting more.

 

[Miss Serendipity]

What about dolphins and thumbs?

Because I like it that way.

 

[Dave2112]

Why in God's name are you watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade naked?


f(n/13) x y(f=xy/-27)

 

[slacker2114]

So what IS the secret recipe of your personal ass cream?



If you swallowed something that big, it'd probably kill you.

 

[McNoodle]

Why aren't more yams used in deepthroating competitions?

One of the shoes landed in a neighboring town.

 

[slacker2114]

So I heard you set a new long distance throwing record with one of your dolls?



If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need a belt.

 

[milagros317]

Why do you practice walking on your hands? 😀

Two hats and an old blue tshirt.

 

[McNoodle]

What did losing in the casino for 24 hours straight get you?

At dead of night the whistle blows.

 

[milagros317]

What happens in horror films?

Two broken bottles and a plastic dinner plate.