If this is how you kids are going to behave before the party even begins, then I'm going to have to tack all this onto my list for Spring. Come April of next year, the kid gloves are coming off. That means:
YOU. ARE. ALL. DOOMED.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
I tell ya, DOOOOOMED!
And I believe I will start my Infliction of Unendurable Evilness with Classy...before she picks up the Pepsi.
I'll then move my way up the ranks to the likes of Tickee1973, Sultry, Lady Sunset, tickleshotel, crydun, and I'll reserve some special attention for the Bettie page wannabe Bratgirl.
And after all of these lovely victims are left crawling, panting, and sobbing in my wake, I'll move on to the next level of Exercise in Unspeakable Cruelty and Ferocious Evil with a visit to GiggleGal, who I don't expect to survive.
Then, after I've gotten back into swing, and polished my moves, and left behind a mass of worn, rubbed, and cowering girlflesh, I'll save the last and most excruciating session for...Sadira. I expect her to flap herself off the bed and fly out the door. But when I set my plans in motion, even God recoils from the sheer darkness of my soul and repeals his protection from ticklish girlflesh...she will not be saved.
...unless George looks at me and says "knock it off Amn, or I'll have my son kick your ass after I'm through."
The loving husbands, SOs, and other protective male counterparts I will distract with colorful Futurama in-jokes and Freakazoid references coupled with inimitable Quagmire impressions...they will be too dazzled to come to their rescue.
As for Natural...I ain't gon' fuck with you, dawg, you bust my ass. I'll just slander you against Lady Sunset so she gathers her crew and comes after yo' ass.
I think I'll stay away from Mz. Chaos too, as she might likely bodyslam me for even looking at her cross-eyed.
But the rest of you are ALL...well, you read this far, you know what I'm getting at.
I'm not ticklish! Have you been hitting the baileys again 😉
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