maniactickler
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God bless my friend, God bless.
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Taking A Turn For The Worst..
- Thread starter Mitchell
- Start date
kcantankerous
4th Level Red Feather
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Mitch, I think your decisions are the correct ones. Please know that many in this community are in your corner.
Thanks,
K
Thanks,
K
paracarl44
Wielder of 100 Feathers
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I'm sorry to hear that it had to end this way.
But as Angel has said maybe you will want to be by your Mother's side when her time comes.
But as Angel has said maybe you will want to be by your Mother's side when her time comes.
Leo tickles
2nd Level Orange Feather
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I would want to be there, too.
Stay strong, buddy.
Stay strong, buddy.
TklDuo-Ann
2nd Level Black Feather
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Mitch, I'm so sorry to hear this! I haven't been online much the past few months and wasn't aware that things had gotten worse again. Please know that you'll be in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. You've been so patient with anf faithful to your mom! I hope you can find some comfort in that! I'll make a point of checking in to keep tabs on you. I pray that her remaining time will be as peaceful and pain-free as possible.
Thanks everyone.
As for being by my mom's side when she dies. I've never been in a room when someone died. I wasnt there when any of my grandparents died. I also have another problem.
As everyone knows, I dont drive. I know now that my mom isnt going to be a facility I can live with her at every day. so.. I'm going to have to go back and forth.
If her end comes in the middle of the night,. I cant wake the driver at 3am. I could take a cab, but they are erratic here, and who knows if I'd get there in time. The only possible thing would be if they think shes going to expire, maybe I can sleep in a chair the night before, so I can be there. Knowing my luck, I wouldnt be surprised if she died at 230am, right after I took my Xanax. Thats God's plan I know. All I can do is try to be there if possible.
She may be going to the home tomorrow or Wed. Not sure. After that, I will be home.
Mitch
As for being by my mom's side when she dies. I've never been in a room when someone died. I wasnt there when any of my grandparents died. I also have another problem.
As everyone knows, I dont drive. I know now that my mom isnt going to be a facility I can live with her at every day. so.. I'm going to have to go back and forth.
If her end comes in the middle of the night,. I cant wake the driver at 3am. I could take a cab, but they are erratic here, and who knows if I'd get there in time. The only possible thing would be if they think shes going to expire, maybe I can sleep in a chair the night before, so I can be there. Knowing my luck, I wouldnt be surprised if she died at 230am, right after I took my Xanax. Thats God's plan I know. All I can do is try to be there if possible.
She may be going to the home tomorrow or Wed. Not sure. After that, I will be home.
Mitch
Life Working Out As One Plans..,.
With the tragic situation about to unfold in my life soon, I was thinking of how many times life simply doesnt work out as one plans... At least this is true for me.
It goes all through my life.
"Market America is going to make me comfortable". Er,.,. no., didnt happen. Once my mom dies, I will have to do another business, or get a job/position.
"I'm moving from Lancaster back to NY with mom". I will be moving from Lancaster back to NY later this year, but mom will have passed away.
"I'm leaving TMF". How many "Goodbye TMF" threads have I started? Er.. too many. Ten years, and many rocky moments later, including almost getting banned some years ago as I posted, I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. Everyone here has been so supportive to me through the ordeal with my mom. I cant possibly turn my back on that.
"The driver is getting fired/packed in". Er.. no. Yes, he wont be working with me for much longer, but that will be because I';ve moved to NY. I'm keeping him until I move, and we will part ways like gentlemen. Hes very upset about whats happening to my mom. He';s been human.
"My father and I are finished for life". Ah.. no. As everyone knows, I've re established contact with him, and he';s going to help me through this horrible period in my life. I'm even going to be seeing his wife/my uncle. Six months ago, I never thought that possible.
The ONLY thing I HOPE and WANT to do is to eventually meet a girl into feet and tickling. That wont change. Even after my mom passes, I move, and settle in, I honestly dont think I could be happy with someone who would refuse to let me play with their feet or tickle them ever. I dont plan to ever tell my father about my foot/tickle interest. It isnt his business. I'll just have to look for my own girl. If I know him, he'll want me to start dating right after my mom dies, and i've moved. I will need to take a breather. Hopefully soon. I just cant see myself being emotionally tied down so soon after such a life changing event.
Bottom line: Except for knowing my mom will pass soon, and moving back to NY, I have no idea what the hell comes next. I've given up predicting. I'll just have to try to plan some form of a life out, and hope that after I mourn my mom, some sembalance of a plan will begin to work for me.
Mitch
With the tragic situation about to unfold in my life soon, I was thinking of how many times life simply doesnt work out as one plans... At least this is true for me.
It goes all through my life.
"Market America is going to make me comfortable". Er,.,. no., didnt happen. Once my mom dies, I will have to do another business, or get a job/position.
"I'm moving from Lancaster back to NY with mom". I will be moving from Lancaster back to NY later this year, but mom will have passed away.
"I'm leaving TMF". How many "Goodbye TMF" threads have I started? Er.. too many. Ten years, and many rocky moments later, including almost getting banned some years ago as I posted, I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. Everyone here has been so supportive to me through the ordeal with my mom. I cant possibly turn my back on that.
"The driver is getting fired/packed in". Er.. no. Yes, he wont be working with me for much longer, but that will be because I';ve moved to NY. I'm keeping him until I move, and we will part ways like gentlemen. Hes very upset about whats happening to my mom. He';s been human.
"My father and I are finished for life". Ah.. no. As everyone knows, I've re established contact with him, and he';s going to help me through this horrible period in my life. I'm even going to be seeing his wife/my uncle. Six months ago, I never thought that possible.
The ONLY thing I HOPE and WANT to do is to eventually meet a girl into feet and tickling. That wont change. Even after my mom passes, I move, and settle in, I honestly dont think I could be happy with someone who would refuse to let me play with their feet or tickle them ever. I dont plan to ever tell my father about my foot/tickle interest. It isnt his business. I'll just have to look for my own girl. If I know him, he'll want me to start dating right after my mom dies, and i've moved. I will need to take a breather. Hopefully soon. I just cant see myself being emotionally tied down so soon after such a life changing event.
Bottom line: Except for knowing my mom will pass soon, and moving back to NY, I have no idea what the hell comes next. I've given up predicting. I'll just have to try to plan some form of a life out, and hope that after I mourn my mom, some sembalance of a plan will begin to work for me.
Mitch
Life never gives us what we think will happen...i've learned that from experience...now i just take each day as it comes...
I'm sorry to hear about your mom...you will miss her, as i miss my parents, especially my dad...
You were almost banned? wow...
I'm sorry to hear about your mom...you will miss her, as i miss my parents, especially my dad...
You were almost banned? wow...
general thade
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You are in my thoughts and prayers Mitch....
GEORGIATKLER
3rd Level Yellow Feather
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You are doing ALL you can to make your mother easy. You ALWAYS visit her and let her know you love her. Please take care of yourself, too, since this heartwrenching task takes more of a toll on the caregiver than you may realize. Take it one step at a a time, and I hope your family does give you some support. You will never need their support more than you do now. Take care and you have my thoughts and prayers.
Leo tickles
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Life rarely works out as planned. When you start taking it one step at a time, it works out much better.
Enjoy your time with your mother, grieve, and go after your dreams. You deserve it.
Enjoy your time with your mother, grieve, and go after your dreams. You deserve it.
Everyone who has walked the path to transition with a loved one handles his/her situation differently. It's okay to think about things but I wouldn't make any definite plans. The hardest part will be to figure out how to spend the time; you've spent most of your time being her caregiver-when that service will no longer be needed of you, the extra time you'll have will be initially creepy. But you will eventually find things to fill that empty space but that'll be when you're ready.
You are both in my thoughts and I pray for a peaceful transition for you both.
You are both in my thoughts and I pray for a peaceful transition for you both.
Mitch, go with your heart on this one. I know signing that DNR order sucked in ways you never knew something could suck. Been there and done that.
Angel, I hadn't thought of it that way until I read what you wrote. I'm glad you got your prayers answered.
For me it was different because I knew my mother wanted to be alone with no family around. She passed away at 1am so she got her wish. I tried my best to stay with my husband but after a few hours I became physically ill; for me the transition was excruciating to watch. Since I drove myself there I had to make sure I got home safely. I left at 8pm, passed out from illness and sheer exhaustion around 1am. I never turn off my phone, but must have done it in my sleep. When I got up at 6am there were three calls in my phone; I was well familiar with the number and called the hospital. He passed away at 3:42 am.
None of us can truly determine what will happen until "it" happens. Maybe you'll be like Angel (who now is my "she-ro") and have the gift of being there when she goes. Maybe you'll be like me (not punk out like I did) but stay as long as you can and leave if it becomes too much. Maybe she'll leave alone and you'll get the call from the hosp. None of it matters as long as she's comfortable as she can be under the circumstances.
My PM box is open to you anytime. If there is anything I can do to help you through this, do not hesitate to ask.
Angel, I hadn't thought of it that way until I read what you wrote. I'm glad you got your prayers answered.
For me it was different because I knew my mother wanted to be alone with no family around. She passed away at 1am so she got her wish. I tried my best to stay with my husband but after a few hours I became physically ill; for me the transition was excruciating to watch. Since I drove myself there I had to make sure I got home safely. I left at 8pm, passed out from illness and sheer exhaustion around 1am. I never turn off my phone, but must have done it in my sleep. When I got up at 6am there were three calls in my phone; I was well familiar with the number and called the hospital. He passed away at 3:42 am.
None of us can truly determine what will happen until "it" happens. Maybe you'll be like Angel (who now is my "she-ro") and have the gift of being there when she goes. Maybe you'll be like me (not punk out like I did) but stay as long as you can and leave if it becomes too much. Maybe she'll leave alone and you'll get the call from the hosp. None of it matters as long as she's comfortable as she can be under the circumstances.
My PM box is open to you anytime. If there is anything I can do to help you through this, do not hesitate to ask.
smilingjames
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If her breathing go slow and is below normal level, then you must not leave her. That's the sign the end is near. The day (or was it night) before my father died, he was snoring very heavily. I'm there with you bud. I know how it feels. When my father passed away, I didn't feel much pain because there was still my mother. But when my mother died early last year, that's when I was devastated although I was already prepared for the eventuality. I know you can take it well since you come from a strong religious background.
texastickler
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Hey there brother.
Words can't express my deep sorrow for you and your family. I know the feeling of hopelessness when something like this happens. I went throught the very same things when my Mom was sick. I brought myself some comfort by thinking of quality of life. I knew she was in pain and I did not want that for her. I have not been around much but know that I am with you in spirit. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and your Mom.
Words can't express my deep sorrow for you and your family. I know the feeling of hopelessness when something like this happens. I went throught the very same things when my Mom was sick. I brought myself some comfort by thinking of quality of life. I knew she was in pain and I did not want that for her. I have not been around much but know that I am with you in spirit. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and your Mom.
kis, thanks hun.
Part of me wants to be there, and part of me doesnt. I've never been in a room when someone died.
texas, thanks for your prayers, pal.
I just came home to chill and do wash. She may be going to the home tonight, not sure. If that happened, I would have to go back to the hosp, accompany her to the home, and come back home myself. I personally hope it doesnt happen until tomorrow.
My aunt is coming from next Wed to Sat, and then I'm going to Philly to see my dad for the first time since Jan 2010. He's been great, my aunt hasnt. My dad thinks I'm wrong for having my aunt here, saying she will stress me out. I gave my dad permission to talk to my mom's Dr in NJ, and my dad relayed to me that the Dr is extremely worried about me. I guess one could say I'm doing as well as I can expect. Part of my problem is how hateful my mom is acting to me. She keeps cursing me out, and telling me she hopes I die, and have a miserable life. She hit me the other day, and is refusing to take meds. My dad says I have to chalk it up to the tumors, and not take it personally, but when I told him it still kills like hell to hear it, he said he understands.
All my aunt does is go on, and on, and on, about her life. She has problems, but many of them are self inflicted. I offered to help her do a business where she could make more money then she is, but she refused, saying she doesnt want anyone else to benefit from her art. My mom expressed that she doesnt even want to see my aunt. If I was more selfish, I'd bar my aunt from coming here. I'm afraid to do that, because I'm afraid my mom will get lucid, and blame me for keeping her sister from her, before my mom dies. I'm going to put up with my aunt for 3 days next week, and I'm not looking forward to it.
I'm not sure when I'll be home next. If it takes days to get into the home, I'll do as I've been, and come home every 2-3 days. When I get home for good, I will let everyone know.
Mitch
Part of me wants to be there, and part of me doesnt. I've never been in a room when someone died.
texas, thanks for your prayers, pal.
I just came home to chill and do wash. She may be going to the home tonight, not sure. If that happened, I would have to go back to the hosp, accompany her to the home, and come back home myself. I personally hope it doesnt happen until tomorrow.
My aunt is coming from next Wed to Sat, and then I'm going to Philly to see my dad for the first time since Jan 2010. He's been great, my aunt hasnt. My dad thinks I'm wrong for having my aunt here, saying she will stress me out. I gave my dad permission to talk to my mom's Dr in NJ, and my dad relayed to me that the Dr is extremely worried about me. I guess one could say I'm doing as well as I can expect. Part of my problem is how hateful my mom is acting to me. She keeps cursing me out, and telling me she hopes I die, and have a miserable life. She hit me the other day, and is refusing to take meds. My dad says I have to chalk it up to the tumors, and not take it personally, but when I told him it still kills like hell to hear it, he said he understands.
All my aunt does is go on, and on, and on, about her life. She has problems, but many of them are self inflicted. I offered to help her do a business where she could make more money then she is, but she refused, saying she doesnt want anyone else to benefit from her art. My mom expressed that she doesnt even want to see my aunt. If I was more selfish, I'd bar my aunt from coming here. I'm afraid to do that, because I'm afraid my mom will get lucid, and blame me for keeping her sister from her, before my mom dies. I'm going to put up with my aunt for 3 days next week, and I'm not looking forward to it.
I'm not sure when I'll be home next. If it takes days to get into the home, I'll do as I've been, and come home every 2-3 days. When I get home for good, I will let everyone know.
Mitch
I forgot to tell everyone of a terrible scare I had on Monday.
I was riding back to the hospital, and I got a call from a Lancaster number that I did not recognize. I answered, and could not hear the person. I dialed back, and still could not hear. The Dr hadnt given me the number of the floor my mom was on, because the Dr said my mom wasnt close to death yet. I thought for sure it was the hosp, and that my mom had passed away. I got out of the car, and raced up to the 7th floor where my mom is, my heart pounding. Thankfully, she was okay. Such an incident makes me realize that even though I know my mom is going to pass soon, I will be very upset when the call comes, even though I know its coming. After that incident, I insisted the Dr give me the number of the floor, and they did.
The Dr who gave me the number of the floor told me on Monday night that my mom doesnt look close to death yet. The Drs best guess is 4-6 weeks, but of course no one really knows.
Mitch
I was riding back to the hospital, and I got a call from a Lancaster number that I did not recognize. I answered, and could not hear the person. I dialed back, and still could not hear. The Dr hadnt given me the number of the floor my mom was on, because the Dr said my mom wasnt close to death yet. I thought for sure it was the hosp, and that my mom had passed away. I got out of the car, and raced up to the 7th floor where my mom is, my heart pounding. Thankfully, she was okay. Such an incident makes me realize that even though I know my mom is going to pass soon, I will be very upset when the call comes, even though I know its coming. After that incident, I insisted the Dr give me the number of the floor, and they did.
The Dr who gave me the number of the floor told me on Monday night that my mom doesnt look close to death yet. The Drs best guess is 4-6 weeks, but of course no one really knows.
Mitch
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Marquis De Sade
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Very sorry all this is happening Mitch. You have the emotional support from many here. 🙂
As an indication of how my head is like a tack..
Just so everyone knows what kind of a person I am.. I use things until they are dead, even inatimate objects. My TV is an 18 year old TV, that I bought used, for $125, in 1999, before I moved here, when my then 21 year old TV died. Everyone knows how I kept my last comp for nine years before it died.
At tne same time I bought my comp in August, my mom bought me a new shaver, because my old ones dont work well. I lost the plug to the new shaver. I'm hoping I can get a new plug to work for it, but if I have to buy a new shaver just six months after a new one was purchased for me, it will piss me off.
Minor situation, but just to indicate how much my brain isnt working right.
Mitch
Just so everyone knows what kind of a person I am.. I use things until they are dead, even inatimate objects. My TV is an 18 year old TV, that I bought used, for $125, in 1999, before I moved here, when my then 21 year old TV died. Everyone knows how I kept my last comp for nine years before it died.
At tne same time I bought my comp in August, my mom bought me a new shaver, because my old ones dont work well. I lost the plug to the new shaver. I'm hoping I can get a new plug to work for it, but if I have to buy a new shaver just six months after a new one was purchased for me, it will piss me off.
Minor situation, but just to indicate how much my brain isnt working right.
Mitch
Thanks everyone.
Yes, izzy. I was almost banned. It was a long time ago. I used to have a stupid habit of introducing myself to new girls by sending them tickling/feet/ladder questions in the first message. If I hadnt stopped, I would have been banned. I learned my lesson, believe me. Now, I'm hopefully just another member of the community, who just happens to have the added interest of liking to see girls stand barefoot on ladders.
I understand what was said about life rarely working out as planned. I dont think either one of my parents lives worked out as planned. My father, for all his.. issues.. is 71 and still works his ass off. He wanted to retire young. He's trying to sell his company, but even then, he;s still going to work.
I havent decided what I'm going to do for my next work. I have some decisions to make once my mom does pass. For right now, I just want to spend her last days with her, however long that is.
Mitch
Yes, izzy. I was almost banned. It was a long time ago. I used to have a stupid habit of introducing myself to new girls by sending them tickling/feet/ladder questions in the first message. If I hadnt stopped, I would have been banned. I learned my lesson, believe me. Now, I'm hopefully just another member of the community, who just happens to have the added interest of liking to see girls stand barefoot on ladders.
I understand what was said about life rarely working out as planned. I dont think either one of my parents lives worked out as planned. My father, for all his.. issues.. is 71 and still works his ass off. He wanted to retire young. He's trying to sell his company, but even then, he;s still going to work.
I havent decided what I'm going to do for my next work. I have some decisions to make once my mom does pass. For right now, I just want to spend her last days with her, however long that is.
Mitch
I cant believe this.. but..
I'm accessing the forum from the hospital cafeteria computer, lol. When I was in NJ in the summer, I got a password to type in, and kept it. Maybe my head was just like a tack with all thats going on, but I didnt try accessing the forum from the hospital all these weeks. I cant access weather.com, but can get on Facebook, and the forum.
I cant logically stay here too long from the hospital, as I dont want anyone to see, but I just wanted to post this. I'm hoping I wont be in the hospital too much longer. Even if my mom isnt moved into the home until early next week, I will go home on Fri or Sat just to get a break.
Mitch
I'm accessing the forum from the hospital cafeteria computer, lol. When I was in NJ in the summer, I got a password to type in, and kept it. Maybe my head was just like a tack with all thats going on, but I didnt try accessing the forum from the hospital all these weeks. I cant access weather.com, but can get on Facebook, and the forum.
I cant logically stay here too long from the hospital, as I dont want anyone to see, but I just wanted to post this. I'm hoping I wont be in the hospital too much longer. Even if my mom isnt moved into the home until early next week, I will go home on Fri or Sat just to get a break.
Mitch
