Being On An Even Keel If Things Go Great,. Or Terrible..

[chicago]

Is Barney even aware you feel this way?

 

[Mitchell]

Yes, Mairead, he is very aware I feel this way. As I've posted, he is an extremely self obsessed, arrogant individual, whose moods towards people depend completely on how his life is going at the given moment.

 

[Jagermeistered]

What is wrong with that(I am talking about his means, and not the ends)? How can I intervene in someone else's means if my ends are not met? If I am suffering from cancer, what help can I offer to somebody with AIDS? It is a bit extreme, but offers food-for-thought: how many individuals think alike?

 

[Leo tickles]

Leo, again, your points are valid.. but.. ah.. you're also not considering what I've been through in the past three years. In case you've forgotten.. I'll give you a recap.

Mom diagnosed with cancer. Sucks.

Father dumps me when mom diagnosed with cancer. Right.

We find a Dr in NJ who says mom's situation is treatable, and make weekly drives 300 miles a week for her to get chemo. Sucks.

Relationship with other best friend of 29 years, troublesome for many years, ends when he doesnt visit in the hospital when mom is sick for three weeks, because he found a girl 2 weeks earlier. Sucks but happens.

We live in NJ for 3 months for my mom to get daily radiation, and weekly chemo, during which we get a vicious letter from my father, I watch my mom suffer, I suffer a seizure and almost die. Sucks.

My mom is declared "cancer free"

We find out my mom has brain cancer. I'm forced to call my father when she's diagnosed with brain cancer. Sucks.

Mom dies six weeks later, less than a year ago. Sucks.

I dealt with her illness ALL ALONE for over two years, with NO HELP from my family. I am alone with her in NJ for three months, for all hospital visits, and as she has her terminal illness. She dies in my arms, and I dont even have a family member to hug or cry to, until 36 hours after that. At that point, the family member I have is my father, who was probably joyful and counting dollar signs, as the person he despised most in the world has suffered terribly and died, and he profited financially from it. He took care of planning her funeral, which was undoubtedly the happiest event in his life. Sucks, but stop depending on people to deal with things.

Iam forced by circumstance to acknowledge my father's family. All of whom, including his brother and his cousins, are abusive to me, while hes constantly taking their sides. Yeah, shoulda made your life earlier, eh?


I am forced to move to NY, into unfamiliar surroundings. No you weren't. You could have flipped burgers and afforded your, as you say, cheaper apartment.

ALL THIS HAPPENED TO ME, WITHIN LESS THAN 3 YEARS! And I still have you beat but you don't see me crying about it. We're not special, buddy. Bad shit happens to people all the time. They deal with it.

I suppose, that during this terrible transition, I had wanted to have someone familiar to be with, as I was trying to build a life. Had all this.. or even some of it.. NOT happened to me, I know I would have been pulling the trigger on this years ago. Years ago none of this was happening and you've known Barney for how long did you say? 20+ years? So you've had about 18 to do the "plug pulling". You haven't done it.

Unless someone is standing in my shoes, they cant understand it. Right. But when all you present is poor me poor me, people eventually start examining why. Then you present the why, and people tell you to fix it. Then you don't, people get mad, you call them assholes.

I WANT to untie from Barney, but I have to do so in the way thats most comfortable for me. The comfortable way is to get mistreated by him and then come to talk about it on a tickle porn board? Strange, but okay.

I'm sorry if people cant understand this. It's cool. There's only 1 person on earth who understands me, besides me that is.

I know you've scoffed at what I'm about to say, Leo, but, all this is not to mention that my father holds everyone else in his life as priority over me, and justifies everyone who does and says evil things to me. (My uncle, his cousins). Boo hoo. My mom doesn't even know I exist and I live with her. At least he somehow knows about you... oh wait, isn't he the one helping you with your new job venture? Yeah, that's right, he is. Barney only considers himself. Your dad is helping you start something job related, and oh shit, that's not enough. Are you Barney?

Read what I've just wrote and see if you can understand. I did get it, those are my replies. See if you can get those.

Tell you what.. if.. in a year from now, my business works, and I was in a position to deal with both Barney, AND my father, then I would really be in good shape.

You've been saying this... and rewording this...for like.. 3 years now. But sure, I'll wait some more. It's your life, after all.


Kay, now that I've gotten through that here are some final thoughts.

Only you can detach from your dad. Your dad, while hard to deal with, is giving you money. He's keeping you from being homeless. Stop bitching about him. He's HELPING YOU, no matter how much of a douche bag he's being about it.

Barney, like some things in your life, is something brought on by you and allowed to continue by you. You're comfortably living in anguish because of a friend you are comfortably trying to cut ties with. That makes no fucking sense. Make sense Mitch, make sense.

I don't need to walk in your shoes to understand how you feel. I've been there. Twice with cancer, many more times with friends and even relationships.

The difference? I took the opportunities that came from it all and ran with 'em. You? You keep running around in circles while life, and people in it, move on. Eventually, they'll move on past you. So either change it or stop making up reasons why you can't and accept it.

 

[Mitchell]

One final reply to you, Leo, even though I intend to keep you on ignore.

Your "Go flip burgers", etc. Are you even aware of the cost of living in the NY area? Its not Lancaster, PA or Cincy. With rents here being so astronomical, burger flippers as you say live either in slums, or with their parents.

I have chosen to take a lot of abuse, lonliness, and such by my father for the chance to do a business and live in a decent place. I consider him to be a boss, not a father. I attempt to do it his way, to get the path I need. Maybe you cant get this, or dont grasp it. Those in my life who know the situation, think he treats me like shit. If I catch one break of a business working, then I control my own destiny.

I was prepared to get any job in PA, and take a roommate into my apartment. With costs of things in Lancaster, that would have been feasible. Such isnt here.

Not only is your reply cruel, it is also uninformed.

Thats all. not going to argue with you anymore. Isnt worth it. You see things only as you want.

 

[kis123]

One final reply to you, Leo, even though I intend to keep you on ignore.

Your "Go flip burgers", etc. Are you even aware of the cost of living in the NY area? Its not Lancaster, PA or Cincy. With rents here being so astronomical, burger flippers as you say live either in slums, or with their parents.

I have chosen to take a lot of abuse, lonliness, and such by my father for the chance to do a business and live in a decent place. I consider him to be a boss, not a father. I attempt to do it his way, to get the path I need. Maybe you cant get this, or dont grasp it. Those in my life who know the situation, think he treats me like shit. If I catch one break of a business working, then I control my own destiny.

I was prepared to get any job in PA, and take a roommate into my apartment. With costs of things in Lancaster, that would have been feasible. Such isnt here.

Not only is your reply cruel, it is also uninformed.

Thats all. not going to argue with you anymore. Isnt worth it. You see things only as you want.

Actually Mitch, I really don't see why you're getting upset with Leo; he's actually telling you what you need to hear and that's the truth. He ain't exactly putting sugar on it, but sometimes the truth doesn't come sugar coated.

You opened this thread asking for opinions; you tend to dismiss the ones you don't like even though they are true.

Fact #1-you started out saying how horrible Barney is, yet when you've been told (by myself and several others in this thread) to cut him loose, you start making excuses for him.

Fact #2-you still hate your father, but he is supporting you so you're going to have to suck it up and deal unless you can predict the next winning lottery numbers in your state.

Fact #3-once you put this OP in the public you don't get to control the responses; some you're going to like and others you should consider because everyone's giving you sound advice. This time you don't get to complain that you've been attacked; the usual suspects have not commented in this thread. You may not like what Leo said, but from where I'm sitting he's absolutely right; whether you like it or not doesn't make his statements less true.

If you really want to know what others think then continue making threads like this because someone will show up and tell you their opinion. But if you're just looking for something other than opinions and/or possible solutions to the issues that you post then let me know in advance and I'll keep it moving.

You've gotten a lot of sound advice here; I have no idea why you're so upset.

 

[Mitchell]

kis, tell you what, you and Leo are right, and I'm wrong. Okay, I give up..

Once again, does anyone know the REALITIES of what I'm dealing with?

Fact: Not that its anyone's business, but, when my mom died, she left me money, money that I cant even have in my name, because.. she also left me TENS OF THOUSANDS in credit card debt that Iam responsible for jointly, where I cant even open a bank account, due to how my credit is screwed up. My father has.. art work.. money, posessions, etc in his possesion, that were left to me by my mom. If I walk,. I not only lose that, but also my apartment, etc.

I promised myself I wasnt going to make any more threads like this, and I need to keep that promise. His reply didnt surprise me, yours does.

kis, not every situation is.. "Get out of it quickly, simply fixed". Barney, yes, my father, er.. no.

Im done arguing. I guess more will jump on this thread soon.

 

[Mitchell]

One other point:

No matter how wealthy or poor someone is, abuse from a parent lasts a lifetime.

My former best friend's parents did not treat their children well, as they were emotionally abusive, especially his mother. They did give his sister a very large amount of money to start a business, and now the sister is a multimillionaire. She keeps her parents at a distance, and her mother blames me for their problems, due to my situation with my father. Such is why she despises me irrationally, and was largely responsible for the end of the friendship. His sister, in spite of being rich, and having the ability to tell her parents to fuck off at any given time, has told me the hurt she feels about how her parents treated her... in the past.

Fact is, if my business does go,. I'm probably tied to my father for life in some way. The difference is, I wont be dependant on him to hold onto things for me, so I can then deal with him in the manner I see fit.

My mistake, and partially my mom's too, was not pushing a biz in Lancaster years ago after Market America failed, and firing the driver so I could go on with my life. Newsflash: I still keep in touch with the driver;s wife, and even SHE is nicer to me than my dad.

 

[chicago]

Two words Mitch: Man Up.

All this sounds like whining. At your age, everything you are dealing with is a choice you've made. You know the hard work involved to make your life better, but your dependance on relationships with others (even bad ones, wtf?) is making you seem like you have no confidence in yourself or in your own decisions. I'm not gonna comment on your dad, your mom, or the way you choose to make money because that's not the point of this thread, and like kis said earlier, it's beating a dead horse.

You hate the way Barney treats you despite you're talking to him about how you feel and the responses here that you should distance yourself from him. I understand a friendship that has lasted years or even decades is difficult to just throw away, but is having shitty friends really better than no friends? Making new ones isn't easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. A calm sea does not a skilled sailor make.

Whenever someone responds with sound advice, you make excuses like kis said, and when you post a thread about how upset you are about something, you have to expect that people are going to respond this way, but when people finally start to get firm with you because they are tired of the same threads, same behavior over and over, you shut down and give up on actively finding a solution.

You know all the things you should do, but many of those things are difficult and hey, sitting and waiting and complaining is a lot easier than working at making your life better. I understand.

Hope the planets align, lightening strikes, and happiness falls into your lap, but for the rest of us, happiness takes hard work.

Guess I''ll be "back on ignore" too now.

 

[TMF Jeff]

Yes, Mairead, he is very aware I feel this way. As I've posted, he is an extremely self obsessed, arrogant individual, whose moods towards people depend completely on how his life is going at the given moment.

...

...

Mitch... you are the MOST self obsessed person ever. Ever.

I've never seen anyone spend more time obsessing on every tiny thing anyone says or does that might be offensive, endlessly chewing on your hurt feelings.

I don't like to criticize you, because I know you tune it out, but you have got to start looking at yourself and your own role in all the things that are happening to you.

 

[Mitchell]

Mairead, I understand what you are saying, and as I said, your points are valid. My key here is timing.. Had all the other things not happened to me in the past three years, I'd have been able to make this choice. Its not that I dont want to.. its just that I dont feel now is the right time to do so.

Jeff, how am I the most self obessesed person ever? I actually dont agree with you. That title goes to my father, actually.

I dont tune things out. I attempt to listen to people with sound advice.

As for what my role is in the things happening to me, I think I stay in relationships too long.. or allow others to run the relationship to the detiriment of myself.

During this whole last awful three years, I did rectify two things that were wrong with my life. I was able.. through Facebook, as I've posted before, to resume my lost friendship with my friend Adam.. That was one of the best moves I ever made. He really values my friendship, and his parents are incredibly nice. If I was Gay, which I'm not, I'd have my partner.

I also ended things with my former best friend. Very difficult, but done.

As for Barney, my attitude about that is all in due time.

You might not agree with me, Jeff, but this is how I feel.

 

[Bothersome]

Mitch, I don't mean to be an ass, here, since you do seem to be a genuinely decent guy, but I think what Jeff means is that you're constantly talking about yourself, even if indirectly. Barney is your friend, and you're discussing your feelings about your situation.

You're kinda beating a dead horse with this thread. I mean, Leo, Kis, and many other people have already agreed or disagreed with every point this thread could make, yet you keep reviving it. You said that Barney was being awful, and most of us agreed with you. Then, for no apparent reason, you turned it around and started excusing his behavior, or explaining why you still want to stay friends with him. The only reason you'd do this is if you just wanted to continue discussing the situation.

Now, I won't lie. I'm terribly guilty of doing this. Constantly. Even now, I'm injecting my own experiences and my own situation into a thread that's not even about me. The only reason I'm letting it slide this time is because I need it to prove a point. It happens, and you just need to be aware of when it happens, so you can stop it.

(Or, I could be wrong. I often am.)

 

[Mitchell]

Bothersome, first I'm going to say that I think your post is sincere. I certainly dont think you';re trying to be an ass.

As to your other point: I wasnt trying to revive the thread. I was more so just explaining why I'm continuing to be in touch with him.

One thing I do know, and I should have learned from my mistakes with the "Demonic Letter" thread from summer 2011 which went on for God knows how long. I should not have posted this in the main forum, as it then gets into a whole blowup thread for a week or two. If I did discuss it, I should have posted it in the blog.

The situation with Barney is incredibly frustrating, and one, along with other things in my life, that I intend to change.

 

[kis123]

Mitch;

Well if you think my last response surprised you, you'd better hold onto your seat because it's going to be a bumpy ride from here!

I'm going to do you a favor and dismiss myself from this thread. You don't want help or advice; you want someone to agree with you. Here I thought you wanted opinions when in actuality you really just want someone to agree with you and tell you how bad Barney is and how bad your father treated you IN THE PAST. Now this man is paying for your apartment and supporting you (actually he's never stopped supporting you even when he was paying alimony to your mother, but that's another story); if he gives you crap once in awhile, suck it up, cash the rent check, and make definite plans to become self sufficient AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I don't see why you bother making these threads if you're going to get an attitude when people give you honest adult opinions. Would you rather the usual suspects come in and insult and "attack" you? Maybe you want help with your issues but don't like how you're getting the help, or maybe you don't want help at all and just want to complain. Then make rant threads and don't ask for advice because at the end of the day, that's all you really want to do; rant and rant with no solutions to your problems.

You can get angry with me if you want; I have NO skin in this game and I know how to handle my issues without involving anyone else. I've been a member here almost 10 years and recall putting a personal issue out for an opinion once. If I do have an issue to put on this forum, I know I have to take the bitter with the sweet because sometimes even those who don't like me might provide me sound advice and a different perspective to consider.

Newsflash: I swear I mentioned this to you before but it apparently got lost somewhere. Once you put your business in the public you don't get to control the responses. If your skin is so thin that you have a fit everytime people don't agree with your POV, then maybe.....just maybe you shouldn't be airing your stuff here. You are entirely too sensitive and you are not looking at this with objective eyes at all!!

Apparently judging by the responses of late, I am not the only one that has become flustered and frustrated at the drama either. But since it's your thread, I wouldn't dare say anything else to offend you even though it's the truth. NYC is a huge place, get out more and make some new friends instead of bellyaching about one who may never change. Why should he? You won't even confront him to let him know that he's even offended you!! Good friggin' grief!!!!

Hope it all works out for you but don't think that it's going to go your way because it isn't.

Peace.

 

[GQguy]

Wise words from Kis, Annie, Leo, Jeff and bothersome. They are your friends, listen to them.

I'll inject my own drama in here for a second.

My buddy/frat brother Davie and I were really good friends. I fully expected to be in his wedding and he in mine. He's getting married in April and asked me to attend. I said sure! With the condition that i an in military training and I cant commit to anything. Country comes 1st! Now Davie hasn't been the best friend as of late. Never returning calls or texts despite me being the one with the crazy career and schedule. I was surprised when I wasn't in his wedding, but that's cool. Then he asks me to not bring a date to keep cost down. Ok. Last week he asked me to let him know ASAP if I'm coming. I tell him I won't know till the week of. He says ok. He understands the military. Today he says I have till the end of the week to tell him yes or no so he can give my seat to someone else. This request is impossible. Even my commander doesn't know if I'll be needed that weekend. I tell him to give up my seat and that ill try and come as promised even if I have to sit at the bar. He says cool! Thanks man. I appreciate it!

At this point I realize that we're not really friends. I'm not sure if he wants me there. For me, a non family member on active duty, to take leave and buy a ticket +600 half way across the country and this so called friend can't even have a seat for me? Support the troops my ass.

I hit him up and told him I wasn't coming.

We aren't really friends anymore. I'll do better though when inviting him to my wedding but he's not part of my inner circle anymore. His loss. Moving on. Who wants to be GQ's friend? Taking applications.

See how I'm not the victim? See how I'm in control? Note that I'm not complaining. His loss! People can say whatever they want to me, but I'm the boss. Hope that inspires you man.

 

[Mitchell]

kis, your reply doesnt make me happy, but I should have expected this. Its my fault for posting it here. I learned my lesson. No more personal threads, ever. I forgot about summer 2011, but this thread reminded me real quick.

Just so I can get attacked again. (I dont fucking care anymore) Here's the latest about Barney.

He came up here tonight, to see me for a few minutes, and promptly informed me that he made plans with his other best friend for this weekend.

As for my father:

Newsflash to you kis: When a parent hurts you, you never get over it. my former best friend's sister is a mutlimillionaire, and told me many times through the years the hurt she felt at her parents treatment of her.

Also: How have I not "Sucked it up" with my father? I remind you, on the day my mom was diagnosed. (In caps to everyone understands) HE WROTE ME AND TOLD ME HE WAS GOING TO HELP ME OUT.

Since the death of my mom: Abuse from: His brother, his cousins, and him. Even his ignoring me is a form of abuse, he has time for everyone else but me.

Paying money for someone does not make their actions not hurt any less.

The only way I can afford to live in the NY area is to make money from a business or product. I dont have a professional license, long work history or career. I was prepared to stay in Lancaster, get any job, and take a roommate into my apartment. He offered me this, so I accepted.

I dont expect anyone to understand unless they are in my shoes.

Thin skinned? Er no. If I was thin skinned, I couldnt have gone back with him.

I dont expect what I'm saying to mean anything to anyone. It doesnt matter. This thread is my fault. Its like an alcoholic who forgets their last hangover. Well i'll remember this one, vividly.

 

[Mitchell]

One other thing, kis,.

You talk about "The responses of late", and "people becoming tired of drama". I just looked back over my threads from the last year plus. Since the "Demonic Letter" thread in summer 2011, more than EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO! When was the last time I posted a personal thread that discussed frustrations? Er.. Once, about my uncle, and that was in the blog, I believe. Most of my "vents" have been in the blog.

I just looked at the thread I'm referring to. "Demonic Letter" posted 6-28-11, died 7-5. That one only went on for a week. This one is already two weeks old.

The only way to control this is not to make any more threads like this.

 

[Leo tickles]

Yup, that'll show me and everybody else. That being you keep suggesting that posting threads like this causes bad things to happen, then saying you won't, then doing it anyways, saying you won't in the same post as you give updates on the situation.

Fucking genius.

 

[Mitchell]

I'm not going to give any more updates about the situation. I did just do something, but I'm not going to post the details to open myself up for more problems.

That;s right, Leo, I am a fucking genius, as you say, I must get it from you. You're just so fucking intelligent.

 

[Bothersome]

Guys, guys. This is general discussion. Let's save the abuse for the P&R, eh?

 

[Leo tickles]

I'm not going to give any more updates about the situation. I did just do something, but I'm not going to post the details to open myself up for more problems.

That;s right, Leo, I am a fucking genius, as you say, I must get it from you. You're just so fucking intelligent.

You forgot to keep me on ignore.

And if you got anything from me your life wouldn't be a constant mess displayed on a porn board. See my threads from years ago to now. No bitching, no moaning. Instead of relying on instant gratification and approval I took charge and fixed the shit. Yeah, more problems come up but I'll fix those, too.

The only thing you seem to be able to take charge of is coming here and airing dirty laundry instead of putting it in the wash. I'm hungry right now. Should I go make a thread and have people tell me that after not eating all day I'm allowed to be hungry? Should I then bitch anybody who suggests eating out and put them on ignore?

No. I should go to a drive through and get a fucking burger. And you know what? That situation is true. I haven't eaten all day. Wanna know why? Because I've been putting somebody's needs before mine. And that's fine, you wanna know why? Because while they may not be doing everything I want them to do, they are doing what they CAN do and I appreciate that, like your dad, who is enabling you, why I'll never know, while still living his own life which is apparently not allowed according to you.

So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm not gonna blame me, or the person I'm helping out for today's situation. I'll call it life and solve the problem by going out and getting myself a sandwich and relaxing with some YouTube or Netflix.

I understand there's a difference in getting a sandwich and fixing your life, but hey, the point remains. Stop bitching, start doing. Your dads business, yeah, your dads, isn't really gonna help you at all. Flipping burgers and being brought down from your pedestal of "everything is about me, spend all your time with me daddy" is what'll help you. And when he finally does drop you, which he probably will within a year or so because hell, I wouldn't want to pour money into a basket that never gets full either, you'll really have something to bitch about.

Until then, keep up your free ride while degrading and not appreciating the people that enable it. Either way, you and your situation don't make a fuck of a difference to me. I'm on a steady path now because I did something, a path you could join me on if you woke the fuck up and smelled the life that you've been neglecting in all of your sheltered years.

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, I do have you on ignore. I simply click your posts to see what shit you post next.

As for your "Flipping burgers". Keep wishing it, and maybe it will happen to you. ..for the rest of your life.

Your prediction of "Daddy will drop me within a year". Tell you what, maybe your wish will come back to you. Whoever you hold near and dear, should leave you high and dry.

This is seriously sick. The last time I posted a thread like this, I also posted a goodbye thread and then looked like an ass because i didnt follow through. So this time, no dramatic goodbye thread. I'm just going to stay, and deal with it
One day, if the spirit moves me, I will leave.

Newsflash: People who work hard at college for four years have bigger aspirations than flipping burgers. I've posted in the past on here of what stood in my way to get to grad school. I wont do so again, so as not to throw even more gas on the fire.

The hatred in this thread is amazing. I have one person to blame for posting it. Me. Trust me, I learned my lesson.

 

[Leo tickles]

Leo, I do have you on ignore. I simply click your posts to see what shit you post next. Defeats the purpose of ignore, no?

As for your "Flipping burgers". Keep wishing it, and maybe it will happen to you. ..for the rest of your life. I drive pizza around for a living. Before I drive it, I cut it, which means I pull it from the oven. I'm also capable of making it, which means I flip the dough. Maybe not for the rest of my life, but I have a pretty secure job at the moment. Oh no, the tragedy that would be if I could keep a secure job.

Your prediction of "Daddy will drop me within a year". Tell you what, maybe your wish will come back to you. Whoever you hold near and dear, should leave you high and dry. It's happened time and time again. I've moved on from depending on people not to drop me to depending on myself for happiness they can't provide anyways.

This is seriously sick. The last time I posted a thread like this, I also posted a goodbye thread and then looked like an ass because i didnt follow through. So this time, no dramatic goodbye thread. I'm just going to stay, and deal with it
One day, if the spirit moves me, I will leave. Very out of place. But okely dokley.

Newsflash: People who work hard at college for four years have bigger aspirations than flipping burgers. I've posted in the past on here of what stood in my way to get to grad school. I wont do so again, so as not to throw even more gas on the fire. Leeching from your mother who loved you and didn't drop you because of it invalidates your college degree. It is further invalidated by your aspiration to leech on a father who "isn't there for you". Further yet, your constant taking of abuse and blatant ignorance to good, helpful advice makes you out to be... ya know.. yeah.

The hatred in this thread is amazing. I have one person to blame for posting it. Me. Trust me, I learned my lesson. For somebody that learns their lesson every single time you sure do fuck up the opportunities that are provided from your "learning".

And my main point is that all you can do is wish things on me. I, on the other hand, can watch you suffer as they go on in your life. I'm a sick fuck like that I guess. <3

 

[Mitchell]

I'm going to post something that I probably should have.. a while ago, before this thread sprialed out of control. I have no idea if this will help.. or pour more gas on it.

About.. a week ago. I sent my dad an email THANKING HIM for all he does for me. The apartment, etc. You know what he told me.., That hes my father, and he wants to help, and that I dont have to thank him.

Another thing: I expressed my concern about something bad happening between us because we have a fight. An estrangement, he takes my money, boots me from the apartment. His reply to me was that any fight we have is seperate from that.

Also,. about Barney: My dad himself says that he thinks Barney is being an ass, and that my dad wants to see where Barney is in six months from now, considering his history. My dad also said that there is no way Barney can work with/for us. Thats a tacit agreement we have.

I think what I really need to do is two things. As long as I';m airing, I've already done one of them.

Instead of airing my shit here, to get threads like this. Go to the source. I just emailed Barney and told him his attitude toward me is pissing me off, and that he needs to find time to spend, and not consider only everyone else. I await his reply.

As for my dad: I'm going to have a discussion with him openly expressing that we have missed so many years, and that I want us to spend more time together. Hes semi retired now, so he has the time. This was one issue my mom was always concerned about, and why she agreed with my decision not to see his family, fearing they would be more important, and I'm less important.

So, there, going to the source, and dealing with the situation, instead of bitching. My business is just about ready to launch, hopefully, and I believe I have a track for a job, so.. I'm dealing with everything.

In spite of this, I;'m sure I will be ripped some more anyway. I just wanted to put it out there.

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, you can "watch me suffer". I guess the only sorrow for you is that I dont have brain cancer like my mom did. Maybe if I posted that, you would REALLY be happy.

Before you posted your infinite wisdom, you should have read my last post, but I know it will change nothing.