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Chuck Norris

That was close lets never let that happen again.

Chuck Norris once slept with Xena the Warrior Princess. Their child was Mr T.
 
nytoetapper said:
Chuck Norris can kill a man 167 ways with a spork.
Click to expand...

Awww...where have you been???? Where has this thread been?

If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
 
Cold fusion is in fact possible. Just add one of Chuck Norris' beard hairs to a half a bottle of bourbon and stand the fuck back.
 
Contrary to popular belief, the craters on the moon were not caused my meteor strikes. They were created by Chuck Norris' nocturnal emissions as he camped out under the stars.
 
Chuck Norris beat the IBM Big Blue computer at chess in 3 moves. He had only a pawn, the thimble, and a checker.
 
Some people write their name in the snow, Chuck Norris writes his name in the concrete.
 
Chuck Norris has his own private fishing hole, and he kills anyone who enters it. We call this spot the Bermuda Triangle.
 
Originally Chuck Norris was going to be hired to play the role of Jack Bauer on the show "24". The producers changed their minds when they realized the show would last only 17 minutes.
 
Chuck Norris is not afraid of death... death is afraid of Chuck Norris

The sun does not rise... Chuck Norris yanks it up
 
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "roundhouse kick" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with roundhouse kicks.
 
Chuck Norris once appeared on the hit TV series Survivor. After 90 days of pain, exhaustion and dehydration, the island was forced to retire.
 
In order for the next Mars rover to reach the planet faster, NASA has asked Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick it in the general direction. First NASA has to make a rover that can take the kick. With 347 failed attempts so far, this is proving difficult.
 
Tears in the fabric of space-time are NOT caused by black holes...its just Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the universe
 
In the beginning, there was nothing... Then the Lord said, "Let there be Chuck!" And Chuck appeared, and it was good...
 
The term "roundhouse" was coined by Chuck Norris after he kicked someone in the head who was standing on his back porch while Chuck himself was unlocking the front door.
 
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