Chuck Norris

[tickleterror]

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them.

 

[nytoetapper]

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows... And by Shadow, I mean Chuck Norris.

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris is behind you.

 

[nytoetapper]

A school of piranha can skelletonize a full grown cow in four minutes. Chuck Norris can do it in 90 seconds with a bun, lettuce, tomato, and ketchup.

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

 

[nytoetapper]

In Texas they throw cowpies... Chuck Norris throws cow herds...

 

[tickleterror]

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

 

[nytoetapper]

Chuck Norris once kicked a hole in the side of a mountain. He then humped the hole... His orgasm is known as the eruption of Krakatoa...

 

[tickleterror]

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

 

[nytoetapper]

Q: What rhymes with orange?

A: Chuck Norris

 

[slacker2114]

Chuck Norris doesn't photograph. He just stares at the paper and an image of him is burned onto it.

 

[tickleterror]

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

 

[nytoetapper]

Chuck Norris' armpit dandruff is 10 times more powerfull than pure cocaine.

 

[tickleterror]

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie. However so far the martial arts has never failed.

 

[nytoetapper]

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SATs. On the answer sheet, next to every set of answers (A through E) he added the following:

F) Chuck Norris

 

[slacker2114]

Chuck Norris never learned martial arts. Martial arts learned of Chuck Norris.

 

[nytoetapper]

Contrary to the myth, Perseus did not slay Medusa. He walked in on day 8 of a Medusa and Chuck Norris staring contest. Suddenly she blinked and Chuck roundhouse kicked her head clean off. Zeus has the whole incident on DVD.

 

[tickleterror]

Pluto was Chuck Norris' 724th kidney stone. His first was the death star.

 

[nytoetapper]

When Superman was little, he had Chuck Norris underoos...

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris invented water.

 

[slacker2114]

The shortage of the PS3s is because Chuck Norris is using them as shotgun targets.

 

[nytoetapper]

Chuck Norris once ate an alligator and shit a pair of boots, a belt, a wallet, and a vest whaich he then wore on Walker, Texas Ranger.

 

[ChosenofMystra]

It is widely documented that Chuck Norris killed the dinosaurs by delivering a roundhouse kick to their head for MASSIVE DAMAGE!!! rolling a natural 20 on his attack roll and doing double damage for his critical hit!

 

[tickleterror]

Each red and white blood cell in Chuck Norris' bloodstream has its own beard.

 

[nytoetapper]

Chuck Norris threatened to roundhouse kick everyone who posted on this thread if we ever let 30 days go by w/o posting on it.