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Chuck Norris

In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
 
During the settling of the west, Chuck Norris would oftne kill buffalo my headbutting them, then tearing them into steaks and loading them onto covered wagons for the pioneers to eat. This is where we get the term "Chuck Wagon".
 
For undercover police work, Chuck pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
 
In actuality, Chuck's beard stopped incoming scud missles during Desert Storm, not Patriot missles...
 
Chuck norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
 
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."
 
Didn't Chuck Morrie create a brand of cigarettes? No, maybe that was Phillip
 
When Observing a Roundhouse Kick By Chuck Norris One Finds That Chuck Norris Actually Rapes His Victim In The Ass, Smokes a Cigarette with Dennis Leary, And Then Roundhouse Kicks His Target.
 
Chuck Norris' body hair is actually an unknown element with a tensile strength greater than that of case hardened steel, and wrapped in 24 karat gold plating...
 
Chuck Norris is the only being that can kill & eat more demons than Kurchatovium's vorpal bunnies...
 
it's said that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice... what was he doing counting the number of HR's Lastings Milledge will hit in his first five seasons as a Met?

if ur a Met fan then you'll enjoy this site http://milledgefacts.blogspot.com/
 
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Each of Chuck Norris' chest, back, and beard hairs have a unique serial number. The purpose of this is as yet unknown...
 
the power generated by a single spinning backfist by chuck norris is equal to approximately 20 megatons of nuclear payload :Hyrdrogen
 
A minor poetic tribute to Chuck Norris...

There once was a man named Chuck Norris
Whose chest hair was as thick as a forrest
If you mess with Chuck
And ain't quick to duck
You'll push up more daisies than a florist.
 
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks for Chuck Norris under the bed! :bump:
 
Chuck Norris shaved his legs to kick higher because he saw it worked for the New York City Rockets.
 
Ticklerguy4u said:
Chuck Norris shaved his legs to kick higher because he saw it worked for the New York City Rockets.
Click to expand...


You know.......I really do hate you. Don't talk about Chuck Norris like that!

*Gives Ticklerguy a roundhouse kick to the face in 6-inch heels*
 
Chuck Norris was the only kid in his third grade class photo with 5 o'clock shadow. (he had shaved an hour before)
 
that Chuck Norris is gonna kick all your asses when he sees this thread that I've e-mailed him 😀
 
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