Curroupt a Wish

[sasaxrah]

Granted, but your head went away with it.

I wish my fridge had groceries in it.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but it's all canned dog food.


I wish I was independently wealthy.

 

[starburstz91]

Granted, but it happens the second after your death.

I wish I rocked.

 

[sasaxrah]

Granted. You rock back and forth, back and forth, for all of eternity.

I wish my gym was open 24 hours a day.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but due to work overload you no longer have the time to go at all.



I wish I could sleep more than 5 hours at a time.

 

[Dave2112]

Granted....see you next month.


I wish I had a fish.

 

[ikaiyoo]

Granted you are a proud owner of a candirú which has lodged itself in your urethra... Good luck peeing

I wish I lived in New England Area

 

[Carsomyr]

Granted! An arsonist set your house ablaze, causing your family to die a painful and fiery death. Their death screams consequently drove your brother to madness; a bus hit him as he ran out of the house and into the street, showering the pavement with entrails. With neither faimly nor housing, you started to lead the life of a hobo, eventually finding yourself in the New England Area. But after a quieted down incident involving a dozen howler monkeys and a political figurehead, you were given the blame and got shipped off to a state prison. The housing is decent, but this other inmate, Bubba, has taken quite a liking to you... Don't bend for the soap when you shower.

Amidoinitrite?

I wish I had a superpower.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. You have the power to lengthen and shorten your arm hairs at will.



I wish I had something cool to put on my tombstone.

 

[Carsomyr]

Granted, it's: "Respawn in 3... 2... 1..." Unfortunately they forgot to put your name on the tombstone, so you don't get any creds.

I wish I had a laptop.

 

[paracarl44]

Granted, but it has one of those exploding batteries which will burn your legs when you have it on your lap.




I wish for nice weather on New Years Eve.

 

[sasaxrah]

Granted, but it starts to downpour at 12:01 am on New Years Day.

I wish my flight tomorrow takes off and lands on time.

 

[paracarl44]

Granted, but you hit air pockets and get air sick.




I wish for a better New Year.

 

[natural tickler]

granted, but at 12:01, your world comes crashing down


I wish for some roller skates

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but they're the Hulk's roller skates. He wants them back and he knows where you live.


I wish they would stop re-making old movies.

 

[natural tickler]

granted, but they did a re-make of Groundhog Day of your life, and it went straight to DVD

I wish for a turkey sammich

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. However, the turkey is still alive.


I wish I had a nicer car.

 

[natural tickler]

granted, but it is a newer model 1977 Pinto

I wish for some raspberry iced tea

 

[ikaiyoo]

Granted but the water it is made from comes from the love canal and the raspberries were picked from Chernobyl.



I wish the next person to corrupt my wish didn't write the great American novel doing so.

 

[paracarl44]

Granted, but your Signature Picture Helicopter CRASHES.






I wish that this gusty wind would calm down.

 

[natural tickler]

granted, but the shift brings the wind right to your bedroom


I wish everyone a Happy New Year

 

[starburstz91]

Granted but you can't speak.

I wish I had some string cheese.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but it's covered in green mold.



I wish I could go to sleep.

 

[starburstz91]

Granted, but you never wake up.

I wish I had a neon blue shirt.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, and it's so bright it attracts every moth within a 50 mile radius to swarm around you.



I wish my head cold would go away.