So I started playing the most "Anime" game in the history of everything ever.
The play by play:
I haphazardly (and partially incorrectly) installed the English patch and started the game.
I created a female elf character with yellow hair that uses katanas and bows and gun-swords.
As soon as I named my character, I was immediately dropped into the middle of senic fucking nowhere jungle with nothing to guide my way except this overwhelmingly "golly-gee-whillikers-I'm-so-glad-to-be-here" sidekick that decided to rip off my yellow hair. He spoke in some strange series of hieroglyphs that I deduced to be clingon. Via process of logic.
I followed his happy ass through the forest for a bit until I was interrupted by Señor-Better-Than-You, who dropped in seemingly out of the ether to wipe the floor with a group of high level mobs by summoning a giant mecha bull-unicorn to remind me of just how inferior I really am. And then he took off like a dick.
Several hundred paces later, I stumbled upon a short-ish elf girl with black hair and a purple kimono being accompanied by a tall, muscular, jet-black battle droid. Who seemed to act like her father for whatever strange reason. After Battle droid and Kimono had traded words, which I deduced through body language to be a lover's quarrel, he dragged her away by her collar, as she pouted in protest.
A bit further down the road I ran into an even shorter-ish girl with sandy hair, different colored eyes, and two massive horns jutting out of her forehead. As per the norm up to that point, she made some language noises at me, and went on her merry way. I can only assume to go headbutt a walrus somewhere.
I then proceeded farther into the jungle and did battle with a giant gorilla creature thingy with rocks for knuckles. After that was over, Scotty beamed me up to some kind of massive space station, where I was given a pat on the back for the heroic actions that I apparently committed, and was promptly booted out the door and into the shopping district. After playing in the courtyard with a ball that I just found lying around, and kicking it down a water slide that was also in the shopping district for whatever reason, all of the lights went out, and the whole plaza transformed into a massive stage. Whereupon the Japanese version of Eminem emerged, wearing no pants, and proceeded to begin performing a concert.
This was made even more interesting by the fact that me, and several dozen other poor suckers around me were pulled from the crowds, slapped up on stage, and forced to do the dance that we somehow all seemed to have perfectly memorized. In sync. And I suspect on camera.
I proceeded on for a while after this, and after finding my way to what I made out to be my apartment, I was greeted by a miniature version of an elf girl, only about 2 feet tall, wearing a purple mage dress and brandishing a miniature staff as well. She actually spoke in my language, and introduced herself to be my "support partner," which I interpreted as "bitch." So I sent her out to gather some items that some other yokle put onto my shopping list of glory, and kicked back while my new "subppiortt pacrtnher" went and did all of my grinding for me.
I was then yanked from the game by a connection error, and decided to call it a day to relay my story here to you.
