"Interview the Person Above You" V-2.0

[Dave2112]

Mommy, where does herpes come from?



It was all going according to plan until Barry just had to stop to take a leak. I mean, come on! Like I knew they were poisonous?!?

 

[ikaiyoo]

d00d you were supposed to be back in one hour what the hell happened and where is steve?



No for the last time I was aquitted damnit

 

[Dave2112]

I take it the glove did not, in fact, fit?



Not yet, but if I do find out, I'm putting naked pictures of them all over the Internet.

 

[ikaiyoo]

So have you caught who ever is having relations on your kitchen table yet?


Damnit Jim I am a systems administrator not a doctor!!

 

[Dave2112]

Hey there, can you take a look at this strange code string?



They say he was found in a dumpster, but I know in my heart of hearts that the Vatican's own carrots were behind the whole ordeal.

 

[wanderingpixie2112]

So how was that new Pope elected?




It was the incident with the kittens that sealed the deal.

 

[ikaiyoo]

So why did you agree to date your neighbor again?


No for the love of all that is right in the world I did not mean to put that in there.

 

[Dave2112]

God, my ass hurts. Did you do that on purpose?



Well, I was thinking of devoting some time to it, but I just can't afford the eggplant.

 

[ikaiyoo]

So have you been able to get an eggplant in your ass yet.



Wait you mean This could kill me?!?!?!

 

[Dave2112]

Would like to sample the Kool-Aid?



In a pinch, you can use a Twinkie wrapper and a rubber band.

 

[ikaiyoo]

How do I macguyver this door open?


I know I was wrong for it but watching her react to that was so much fun.

 

[Dave2112]

You do know you're going to Hell for hooking Britney Spears up to a truck battery, right?



But...but...I've always mixed the two! This NEVER happened before!

 

[ikaiyoo]

look at this mess didn't I tell you whippits and astroglide are a train wreck waiting to happen?


no seriously check out the look Glam gets when I say.......

 

[Dave2112]

"Britney Sucks"?!? You actually told Cindy that Britney Sucks? What the hell were you thinking?



I shall be a vision of the splendor of the Kings of Old, in glory undimmed before the breaking of the World...

 

[ikaiyoo]

ummm why are you taking the clothes off of that skeleton?


Jesus wont anyone forget that.... ok I walked into the room and slipped on a pencil... seriously.. that is what happened

 

[wanderingpixie2112]

How did you get the nickname "Sharpener"? 😉




The pine needles danced, Santa puked violently and the less said about the elves, the better...

 

[ikaiyoo]

what happened when you drank my "special" koolaid last night?

not sure but my shoulder hurts and I have 1500 pennies in my pockets?

 

[baldadonis]

How did things go last night with that stripper who only accepts change?

When I got there, it was 2 feet larger and painted red.

 

[ikaiyoo]

I heard they finished the statue of you last night, did you go to the presentation of it?

Look man I dont know but I will say this she really was preficient in her abilities

 

[Dave2112]

Have you ever met a quadruple-jointed prostitute?



As long as I live, I'll never forget that moment....even if the pine tar comes out of my hair.

 

[ikaiyoo]

So what was it like screwing that squirrel last night?



You know you might knock me for it but My god that was the smoothest most soothing feeling I have felt in a long time.

 

[Dave2112]

So, what was it like screwing that walrus last night? 😉



You should probably have some official training, but in a nutshell...if she screams, you have it set too high.

 

[ikaiyoo]

ok So I bought this electrofied buttplug the other day and i have tried it on three women and they passed out like 5 seconds after turning it on.... is that what is supposed to happen?



Neither did I, but thanks to "buffy the hooker slayer" we're both accessories to murder...we are going to get the chair. Now get me a roll of duct tape, some trashbags, a gallon of clorox bleach, some saftey glasses, and some rubber gloves... we gotta get rid of this bitch.

 

[Dave2112]

It was that damn chick you've been hanging out with, wasn't it? I never thought you'd ever get caught.


Yeah, I guess I just never figured that "Mike's Hard Chocolate Milk" was bad idea.

 

[ikaiyoo]

dude have you smelled your car lately? and what is all that brown stuff all over your dashboard?

Seriously When I bought it, I had no idea it would scare that many people.